We spent a weekend together a few months ago when he was in town for business. A dumb meet cute in a bookstore Friday afternoon led to dinner, which slipped into drinks, which eased us up to his room like the start of either a softcore cable flick or a toothless romcom. I won’t be coy, though; we fucked all weekend. With teeth.

I’m not gonna even lie. I picked “Craving II” from the box ‘o’ porn at Fleshbot HQ because it looked hilarious. It’s a naughty take on fairy tales, a favorite topic of mine, and while Grimm’s stories have been Disneyfied over the years, I’m pretty sure that they never thought Rumpelstiltskin’s work-for-trade arrangement involved beejs with the miller’s daughter.

I know, I reviewed a Nica Noelle film last week too, but after seeing “My Mother’s Girlfriend, Vol. 3,” I needed to know what else she has up her sleeve. “Wives Club” also plays with age disparity, although in this movie it has a bit more of a power play charge. Ex-wives Nina Hartley, Helly Mae Hellfire, and Raylene are being jerked around by their scummy exes, and they’ve had it up to here with these midlife crisis shenanigans. It’s time for these ladies to get theirs, and by theirs, I mean laid.

Nica Noelle’s Noelle’s “My Girlfriend’s Mother, Vol. 3″ surprised and delighted me with copious amounts of hot sex and a rather staggering number of female orgasms.

FEET! Who knew there were so many dizzying things to do with them other than walk on them? Joanna Angel knows, and she got her Burning Angel crew together for this Footloose-flavored foot fetish comedy.

I won’t even lie to you guys. I had no idea this “Next Friday Night” is a XXX comedy version of Katy Perry’s video for “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” until I did some digging. Why? Because the only time I hear Katy Perry is at the gym. Sue me! Once I watched the video, of course, it all became clear. The braces, the headgear, the bangs, and the dweeby but loyal best friend — even the extra silly fantasies of knights and swords are more or less all in Next Friday Night. Of course, “Next Friday Night” doesn’t have Hanson, Kenny G., Corey Feldman, or Debbie Gibson in its cast. Oh, hell no. But there is a lot of banging, so there’s that.

James Deen is probably the only porn star who could make someone wish they’d gone to Hebrew school. Yes, we know, he’s corrupting The Youth of Today! And Tumblr. And Bret Easton Ellis. But isn’t that why we love him? Oh, and because he’s smart, funny, cute, and has a ridiculously huge cock.

A really long time ago a boyfriend and I snuck into the adult section at the local indie video store and rented a VHS tape of Deborah Sundahl’s “How to Female Ejaculate: Find Your G-Spot.” I don’t remember it really helping us along on my quest to squirt — after all, Sundahl also wrote the book on it, literally, which I’d already read — but it was interesting and hot and, well, that’s maybe a story for another time. The guide had a certain crunchy queer Bay Area vibe to it that I liked. Sundahl does have a guide specifically for couples, but this wasn’t it; this was sort of a space pioneered by feminists like Sundahl, Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen (who is in the guide), Nina Hartley, and Susie Bright. It would have turned off many a “typical” hetero dude looking for some wank material.

Club Elite is a mixed bag of sexy, enthusiastic female performers, tedious sex scenes, and weird behind-the-scenes stuff that comes off looking just plain unprofessional. Elegant Angel calls it “reality/superstar porn,” but reality doesn’t necessarily make for good porn. The performers are all beautiful ladies in a nice range of

Okay, let’s be honest. No one was going to lose the Superstar Showdown with Asa Akira and Katsuni. Like, you’re just not. Even the judges agree! Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the judges got really up close and personal shows from each of the stars and their partners, as

Ask women or people of color why they got into directing, producing, or writing their own projects, and it’s often because they haven’t seen much, if any, of their own experiences reflected back to them onscreen. This is definitely the case with “Tight Places: A Drop of Color,” as the

Sometimes, life is pretty awesome. For example, when the Queen of Fleshbot asks you what kind of porn you like and you tell her in detail and then she presents you with an amazing DVD full of almost everything you mentioned, as is the case with Vicarious, that’s a red