Fleshbot » Gram Ponante

Nostalgia: “Punk Rock Chixxx Rule”

Gram Ponante — Thu, 24 May 2012 21:00:30 +0000

Like the Elves disappearing into the West, it makes me just a little melancholy to watch a compilation called "Punk Rock ChiXXX Rule," in which spiky-haired vixens like Rachel Rotten and Daisy Tanks fuck on squalid mattresses in rooms spraypainted with anarchy symbols.

You Never Need A Good Reason For A “Big Boob Orgy”

Gram Ponante — Wed, 23 May 2012 21:00:41 +0000

...and by that I mean there's always a good reason for a "Big Boob Orgy."

A Creepy Cure for Blue Balls: “This Ain’t The Smurfs”

Gram Ponante — Tue, 22 May 2012 21:00:41 +0000

"This Ain't the Smurfs XXX" isn't the first blue movie based on Saturday morning cartoons. It isn't even the first blue blue movie (that would be "This Ain't Avatar XXX"), but it is the first blue blue movie filmed in Larry Flynt's office.

Score! “She’s So Anal” Is Not A Parody of “That’s So Raven”

Gram Ponante — Fri, 18 May 2012 21:00:07 +0000

Look through Fleshbot's archives and you will see that there's porn for everyone—even viewers who dig watching people have sex uncomfortably. Not the delightful Krissy Lynn, zesty cover model of "She's So Anal"; in fact, we are happy she puts her best ane forward.

Someone’s Colon Is Ready for Its Closeup, Mr. Stagliano, And Other Pornic Wonders

Gram Ponante — Thu, 17 May 2012 21:00:38 +0000

"I wish my pussy was fatter, like my butt," says Kristina Rose in "Buttman: Focused," a porn compendium like every dirty National Geographic rolled into one. "That way my front butt would match my back butt."

“The Truth About O”: Bobbi Starr Gotta Serve Somebody

Gram Ponante — Wed, 16 May 2012 21:00:53 +0000

The rulebound and trussed-up world of Ernest Greene's "O" movies is filled with sadder-but-wiser characters who wield sex with solemnity. Title character Bobbi Starr embarks on a hands-on mission to find her replacement.

Fast Times At “Revenge of the Petites”

Gram Ponante — Tue, 15 May 2012 21:00:51 +0000

Porn teaches us so much. Did you know that routine discrimination by uniformly hot girls against negligibly smaller uniformly hot girls was a thing? Neither did we until "Revenge of the Petites."

There’s No Escape From “Exit Holes 2″

Gram Ponante — Fri, 11 May 2012 21:00:10 +0000

If you couldn't read English, you might assume from the boxcover of "Exit Holes 2" that it was your standard Porn Lesbian movie featuring healthy pole dancers who hunt the Lickalotapuss now and then. But Oh My God.

In Which The Creepy Uncle Wins: “Friends And Family 3″

Gram Ponante — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:00:06 +0000

But lest you think this movie is going to get all envelope-pushing like Kirdy Stevens' "Taboo" series, remember that these people have no pubic hair, so it doesn't count.

What Would Freud Say About Your “Teen Anal Nightmare,” Ivana Sugar?

Gram Ponante — Wed, 09 May 2012 21:00:56 +0000

If you are concerned about being anally penetrated, says the Surgeon General, don't get winded.

Same Time Next Year, Isis Taylor

Gram Ponante — Tue, 08 May 2012 21:00:46 +0000

As any woman who has met him knows, Manuel Ferrara is a powerfully handsome and charming man. He is also gracious, admitting that he has borrowed these attributes from me. In "Raw 9," we are treated to a scene in which he and the beautiful Isis Taylor charm the pants off each other.

Just In Time For Mother’s Day: “Up Her Asshole 2″

Gram Ponante — Mon, 07 May 2012 21:00:48 +0000

This year, tell Mom you're grateful you weren't an ass baby.

Assed In Translation 2: Anissa Kate

Gram Ponante — Fri, 04 May 2012 21:00:14 +0000

It is like watching a sex clown. The impressively constructed French pornstress Anissa Kate sits spread-legged in an outfit designed like a 14-year-old's MySpace page and sucking the life out of a lollipop.

Siri Would Be Sexy At Any Size

Gram Ponante — Thu, 03 May 2012 21:00:43 +0000

It's a war out there, what with those great Dove ads saying one thing, obesity watchdogs warning something different, naturally skinny women getting demonized, and me with this great new alfredo sauce recipe. But we don't consider BMI when we look at someone like Siri; we just see Sexy.

Masturbation Isn’t Enough for You, Is It, Remy La Croix?

Gram Ponante — Wed, 02 May 2012 21:00:28 +0000

Little spinning minx Remy La Croix might just become the poster girl for the Ant-Masturbation Lobby for her brave Schlong Quest in the film "Innocent But Nasty."

Parking Lot Moments With Lily Labeau

Gram Ponante — Tue, 01 May 2012 21:00:36 +0000

You might be surprised, but one of the simple joys of the rarefied world of Porn Journalism is encountering people who are comfortable being naked. But it's even more fun when those people get out of their comfort zone.

Assed In Translation: Sasha Swift

Gram Ponante — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:00:12 +0000

Sasha Swift, a bored 22-year-old Russian mail-order bride in "Anal Size My Wife 3," is nearly incoherent with sexual frustration. Read on to see how much of the backstory (heh) we filled in.

Nacho And Kayla Seek Love Through Brutal Slow-Fucking

Gram Ponante — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 21:00:36 +0000

Nacho Vidal's style of lovemaking might not be for the oversized coffee cup/scented candle crowd in their appliqued cat sweatshirts, but even his heart breaks with love—over the frank Kayla Carrera—in "Made in USA."

“Spandex Loads” Are Like Champagne Wishes, But With Loads

Gram Ponante — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 21:00:55 +0000

I once had the pleasure of having my spot stolen by Mr. Robin "Lifestyles of the Rich And Famous" Leach during the AVN Awards red carpet. Had I arrived? Had he fallen? What did that mean for Dave Navarro? Anyway, if only I'd known about "Spandex Loads" then, I could have reclaimed my purloined space by shouting "Add these to your caviar dreams, Rupert Murdoch!"

Don’t Eat The Hot Dogs: “Camp Erotica”

Gram Ponante — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 21:00:25 +0000

The Mondo Family (which also brought us the fascinating/awful "Brides of Countess Recula") is responsible for some of the worst-shot pornography in history. But it's impossible not to watch it because even they didn't know what would happen.