When's your next big family gathering? Most religious holidays have passed, and hopefully you won't have to deal with the relatives until Thanksgiving, so that means you have a lot ...
We’re down! If by “tap” you mean “touch,” and “dance” you mean “ourselves”.
These women are nuts! And that’s before the male strippers show up…just kidding. But, when the dudes start taking it all off, these regular everyday women go bonkers, they can’t get enough. It still amazes me every single time!
Okay, so we can’t say we know for sure what a facial from God would look like (a hurricane? monsoon season?) but with the celestial light surrounding this babe, we think she just might be an angel. Albeit one that’s dripping with a massive cumload, but that only serves to augment her ethereal beauty. Who needs flowing, silvery robes when you can have ropes of gossamer cum all up on your face? Nobody, that’s who! Oh, Facial Friday, we sing your praises.
Because Sinn Sage is in town, and ain’t nobody wanna miss that. It’s like when the old-timey instrument repairfellow would pass through town twice a year, and all the violinists from miles around would bring their fiddles for a tune-up. It’s like that, except Sinn Sage does it for hot chicks and their asses. Yeah, she gets that body feelin’ right. She does it like no one else can, and that’s why she’s a master of her craft. Come to think of it, we could use a little adjusting ourself. Oh, Sinn? We need you!
“Assacre” (Asses Being Wrecked By Dicks And Dildo’s [sic]) stars the juicy blue-eyed A.J. Applegate, who opens the scene by sucking on an acrylic dildo while her ass remains as yet unwrecked. In fact, her mouth isn’t even wrecked.
Look, we know, it’s kind of a gross title, but that’s the one that Stoya would’ve picked! As it stands, her editor picked the title for her article about why we find pornstars’ Twitter accounts so damn fascinating. Tell us, Stoya! Drop some knowledge upon our domes!
Remember this gal? It’s the babe we saw hanging out topless in the fridge at that Whores N’ Gold party! Her name is Xochitl (it means flower, but we immediately thought of that brand of tortilla chips) and Igor says she’s “beautiful and sort of nuts and really awesome.”
Hey, sometimes the best part of vacation happens without leaving the confines of your hotel room. There’s premium cable, delectable room service, a king-sized bed, blackout curtains, and plenty of space for good lovin’. Now, maybe with the Empire State Building or the Champs-Élysées right out your window, you know, eventually you should get out there. But there’s nothing wrong with scheduling some bone-time in on your itinerary. We think it makes the whole trip go a bit more smoothly (and funly).
When’s your next big family gathering? Most religious holidays have passed, and hopefully you won’t have to deal with the relatives until Thanksgiving, so that means you have a lot of time to mentally prepare yourself for the next onslaught of judgment and force-feeding. Take a page out of Shane Diesel’s book: you may find that harmony is just a huge, veiny dick away.
Ah, the fabled DP. It’s a move that scares many a novice away, and with good reason. One truly has to work up the skill and fortitude necessary to take it in both love-spots at once — and, luckily, there’s a cadre of beautiful ladies who have done just this. We respect, admire, and want to jizz all over all your efforts. And for us, that’s the highest compliment.
“Fuck my mouth,” I suggested. “Not a blowjob, a mouthfucking. That way I can come too.”
It’d be easy to claim our lust for Justine stems from her gorgeous red mane, but really, we’ve seen her has a blonde before and she’s always an amazing force. She’s simultaneously adorable and nasty, cupping your cheek with one hand and slapping it with the other; Justine keeps us on our toes!
Amy Adams is a gorgeous lady and we appreciate every chance we get to look at her, but do you know what our favorite part of her is right now? Her overcoat. That khaki trench looking thing is absolutely divine; it makes it seem like Amy is going somewhere to flash somebody with her sexy bod (her possibly panty-less bod).
Wow. Looks like it’s pretty nice to be Tony Ribas! There he is just minding his own business when all of a sudden he’s stormed by two busty brunettes on a mission to take him for their own. They wordlessly force him to turn his cock over to them — all of it — and take his face for a ride. He’s a good sport about it, though, which we think is the correct response.
Being lost in the desert doesn’t sound so bad, right? If you have a pair of gorgeous models with you (and enough sunblock to last for…ever), then you’ll never be bored. They’ll summon sand clouds and snuggle up together and you can live in a sand castle with them! Good luck finding water though.
We very much appreciate Magdalena Berus’s attitude towards sex in “Bejbi Blues.” She’s not looking for candlelight or a sensual massage; her aims are simple, her desires are within reach, and when she strips naked in front of you, that’s all the signal you need to know what comes next.