Only in Florida: A Bump For A Hump

November 4, 2018 | Posted in Editorial Features by jack-blackbush

Pay For Play? More Like Sex For Speed Bumps

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

They say democracy is messy, it takes greasy palms to get the wheels working, you scratch my back I'll scratch yours, so on and so forth. Yes, it can be downright terrible at times, but sometimes you need those back room deals to get something really big done. For one Florida Mayor, he might have set his bar a little too high. When a concerned citizen reached to Lantana Mayor David for some speed bumps he said he'd be happy to also as he got some humps of his own.

Yes, that's right, Mayor Stewart wanted sex for speed bumps.

Now, I'm not sure what drove Catherine Padilla to ask for speed bumps in her Lantana neighborhood, but she was able to get a meeting with the Mayor. Apparently they went to lunch and then the Mayor drove her to a hotel and told her if he could "occupy" the room and have sex with her then her neighborhood would get those much coveted speed bumps. What the hell does "occupy" mean in this situation? It doens't mean sex because he said that, but also said "occupy"? Seriously, this is the most confusing part.

Needless to say Miss Padilla declined. She has filed a complaint and now Florida Commission on Ethics, which is also a surprise Florida has one of those, is looking into the matter. No word on whether or not the neighborhood got the speed bumps.

via The Sun Sentinel

Tagged in: mayor , only in florida , sex for speed bumps , straight ,

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