March 27, 2018 | Posted in Celebrity by
I enjoy my job, I really do, but if there is a job out there that allows me to be close to a topless Emily Ratajkowski to inspect her rear end then it's time to brush up the old resume. Seriously, who is that dude and how in the world did he get the job as the luckiest man on the planet?
I mean he's got to be a higher up or something, like maybe he's the photographer on the photo shoot? Or could he be Emily Ratajkowsk's most trusted assistant and lifelong friend? Whatever his position is I think it's only fair that his job be open to the public. Each and every one of us should able to apply for the position of Emily Ratajkowski thong inspector or whatever the actual title is. Call it whatever you want, as long as the job means being close to an almost nude Emily Ratajkowski we'll all be happy to apply. Hell, it could be an internship for all I care. That's how much it means to me to have this opportunity.
Yes, I know it's never going to happen. Emily Ratajkowski is a goddess and we are all mere mortals, there's no way for us to have a chance at a job like that. Still we get to see Emily Ratajkowski topless in a thong and that makes doing whatever it is we do for a living kind of worth it.