March 16, 2018 | Posted in Editorial Features by
Hello, dear Fleshlings! I thought it was time for another Best of Reddit. This time: What was the skeeviest/cringeiest/repulsive bit of 'dirty talk' that someone muttered during sex with you? Oh god, I could add to this list, but I will refrain - for now.
And with that... here we go:
"Not so much receiving as I gave it. But a couple of years ago, my partner and I were getting hot and heavy and I was really turned on so I thought I was being hot by whispering, 'What are you doing to me?' in his ear. He recently brought it up and now if I do something like stroke his hair he'll look directly at me and just whisper, 'What are you doing to me?'
"During anal sex he said, 'Yeah, you're not gonna shit right for weeks!' Um??
"Had a girl whisper, 'I'm pro choice,' in my ear right at the start. It was the way she said it though, like her political stance was sexy. I really didn't know what to do so I just tried to be sexy and grunted back, 'Yeahhhhhhh."
"Gf and I were doing (bad) Scottish accents while fooling around and she says, 'LET ME PUT MAH WILLIE IN YOUR FANNEH.' Took me a while to stop laughing."
"Omg, when the harambe thing happened, he was unbearable. Harambe this, Harambe that. Well, one time when we were having sex, just as he was about to finish, I whispered in his ear, 'Harambe was just a gorilla.' He finished but looked at me with the dumbest look on his face and we never spoke of it again."
"Just as she was about to have an orgasm, Con-Con screamed out, 'BITE MY TITTY YOU SHORT DICK MOTHERFUCKER.'"
"A man I was seeing told me he liked to talk dirty during sex and I was okay with it. Until I heard what his version of talking dirty was: 'You worm-infested piece of dog shit! You are scum, you filthy disease-ridden whore!' Killed the mood and the not-quite-a-relationship. He didn't understand why I was upset when he had made clear that he liked 'talking dirty.'"
"Do you want me to pretend to be a scared child?"
"Not quite during sex - I didn't let it get that far - but a guy I was dancing with in a club groaned, 'God, you have the same name as my sister. That's so hot.'"
"The guy and I had hung out with my sister earlier during the day. My brother in law had a cookout, so we had been over there most of the day. We leave and we get back to his place and we had never fooled around before. So we are watching a movie and we start making out and groping each other. Anyway, so I am naked sitting on top of him and he was inside of me. And he's super aggressive. Nbd because I enjoy rough sex. He grabs my hair ( it freaking hurt) and kisses me then says, "Did you tell your sister how much of a dirty bitch you are?"'
"A guy once said I looked like a majestic cow - I'm not even a big girl!"
"An ex would refer to her vag as her 'cranny' when she talked sexy. It was very bad and not good."
Cranny rhymes with granny, and that's all I'll say about that one. Anywho, do you guys have any lines to add to this list?