February 15, 2018 | Posted in Editorial Features by
Olympic Village - AKA, the Orgy Dome for Athletes - seems to pack in more and more condoms each year, thanks to the way "sport-fucking" takes on new meaning within the no parents, no paparazzi enclosure.
This year at the PyeongChang Games, there are more free condoms for competitors than at any Winter Olympics in the past. In fact, there are 37 condoms available per athlete. I mean, holy shit, I've haven't had sex 37 times within the span of two weeks ever, and let me tell you, I've tried.
If you were privy to the ESPN piece in 2012 detailing the raunchy nature of the Olympics, then this might not come as a shock to you. Spending time in Olympic Village is, for lack of a better phrase, a ginormous frat party filled with some of the most beautiful people in the world, all where they can go about their business in private. Considering it's also often a once-in-a-lifetime culmination of incredible achievement, there is some cause for celebration.
In any case, I'm bummed I quit ice skating lessons at age 9. Who knows where I would be now?