The Winner of the Bad Sex in Fiction Award Has Been Announced

The day has come, lads and lasses - the day the winner of the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Awards is announced. Today, among many other worthy contenders, the Literary Review gathered in London to crown American author, Christopher Bollen (who was probably not actually there) the One True King.

Eh hem. A reading from his novel, The Destroyers

"On the stone porch, in the hot, mountain air, we grapple with our clothing, which, in the darkness, becomes as complicated as mountaineering gear. Her black shirt around her neck, mine unbuttoned, our shorts and underwear slid to our ankles, we seem to be moving at avalanche speed and also, unfortunately, with avalanche precision."

Bollen also has a proclivity for really erotic, appealing imagery: 

“The skin along her arms and shoulders are different shades of tan like water stains in a bathtub.”

Or how about:

“Her face and vagina are competing for my attention, so I glance down at the billiard rack of my penis and testicles.”

In all fairness, he's a published author, and I hear the book is (otherwise) quite good. Doesn't mean I didn't snort at my reading all the excerpts. 

There were other excellent contenders, of course:  

Look, guys, I know writing a sex scene in any kind of artistic way is hard, but wow. Just... wow.  

Tagged in: bad sex in fiction, the destroyers

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