June 28, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by
If you weren't aware, in Norway, there is a rock formation that looks a lot like an erect penis. So much so that is it actually named Troll Penis Rock. Locals loved the Troll Penis Rock and I'm sure any tourist who stumbled upon Troll Penis Rock also became very fond of it. Well, it would seem some asshole or assholes have gone and cut off the Troll Penis Rock.
Joggers running past “Trollpikken” (which translate to Troll Penis) and discovered it no longer standing erect. Outrage soon spread and now the locals are doing what they can to raise money to make Troll Penis hard as a rock again. Now, I know what you're thinking and no, this wasn't simply caused by age. Troll Penis was still hard as hell and no problems going limp before. This terrible act was done by man (or woman) - there is evidence that Troll Penis was cut off by drilling holes into it and hacking it off... what a horrible way to go. Authorities are on the hunt for the Troll Penis haters and if/when caught they could face up to six years in prison.
But, it's not all terrible - Norwegian activists believe the Troll Penis can once again stand tall and shoot forth! All they need is about $30,000 bucks (some social media pages have already raised over $10,000), a helicopter, and an hour and Troll Penis will once again rock hard.