The ‘Vagina Code’ Generator Is Kind of Terrible

You fine folks may remember the Dick Code, as created by Gyorgy Szucs: 

It lets you select all the intimate details about your dick: How long, thick, hairy it is, how much and how far you cum, if you're cut or uncut, etc. etc. Gyorgy made it because he's both apprehensive about sending real pics of his dick to strangers and craving more detail than a mere photo can provide. It's pretty great.

After a sweeping success, he answered the call of many and decided to make a Vagina Code: 

And here's what he said about it in an interview with MEL Magazine: 

"This was a big struggle for me. I spent two weeks looking at the anatomy of a vagina, reading articles, collecting images, looking up the types. I’m pretty sure the results are not 100 percent awesome. Still, I at least tried to do my homework by meeting with my lesbian and straight friends to figure out how to separate the categories and determine the different versions of a vagina and what parts are interesting. They suggested noting the size of the vagina based on how many fingers you can fit."

So, I mean, at least he's self-aware, because this shit is terrible. It's understandable that he doesn't spend a lot of time with vaginas because he's gay, but that doesn't mean this isn't still really, really funny, also horrifying, because why doesn't anyone teach anyone about what vaginas actually look like?!?!

Anyways, let's review, shall we?

So. The labia option. Well, I mean, first of all, inner labia aren't covered in hair like tiny ballsacks. It's not a thing. They're smooth AF. 

So, ok, vaginal tightness, I see. But where is in the entrance to the vagina??? That's just the outline of the vulva with fingers entering it like it's a sprawling canyon or the portal to another dimension. The only time the entrance to a vagina would ever look like this is if you jammed a massive leaf-shaped dildo into your body. 

This is where you select your degree or thigh gap, or lack thereof. Because nothing shouts "fuck me!" like having to tell someone exactly how close your legs get to touching when you walk. 

Then there's this nice diagram of how large your clit is... and an option that is absent completely of one. Some women truly do have their clits removed, but it's illegal in most countries and, though inclusive, is heavy AF for a sexting reveal. And also really depressing that it would be a necessary option.

Is this supposed to represent the HYMEN, or are these vagina blinds??? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Ugh. He did totally nail one thing, though, as described in his interview with MEL Mag: 

"The clit is basically a tiny penis. When transgender people are transitioning, they take hormones to grow the clit into a penis — with fluid and everything. I was like, “Wow, that’s actually a penis there! I’ve finally found something familiar in the vagina!”