April 17, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by
In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.
Having been fortunate enough have had to face a judge, I can only imagine the rush of feelings one must have in that moment. Sure, you do your best to look strong on the outside, but inside there is a rush of fear, a deep sadness brewing, a flash of anger, a touch of helplessness, and for one Florida woman, the desire to flash her boobs to the judge.
Susan Surrette, who is better know to many as Kayla Kupcakes, was arrested for public intoxication. When she was brought before the judge he inquired about her profession and the star of Older Women With Younger Girls #11, Double Air Bags #18, and Big Boob Fantastic 40's #3, replied "escort and porn star." At that point, it's unknown if Miss Kupcakes wasn't sure if the judge believed her or she was overcome with emotion because she decided to lift up her shirt to reveal her big boobs as evidence.
As strange (or not) as this is, I feel the need to point out that the judge at one point seems to indicate that Miss Kupcakes looks familiar and asks if she's had any priors. It kind of makes you wonder if this judge had seen Titty Worship #3 or My Friend's Hot Mom #5 and upon seeing Miss Kupcakes' boobs put it all together. Or he could have simply been taken aback by being flashed... who knows.
It wouldn't surprise me at all if people claimed things that just aren't true when appearing before a judge. But in this case, it kind of changes the meaning of "presenting into evidence" and also "banging the gavel." That last one is a bit of a stretch, but come on... it works.