Learn How to Tie Up Your Special Someone!
Sex educator Lord Morpheous' latest book "How to Be Knotty: The Essential Guide to Modern Rope Bondage" is available for purchase now online and at your favorite local book seller. Rope bondage can be an intimidating fetish, but wow, it's awesome when it's done right.
How did you first discover your love for rope bondage?
"I've always been a very hands-on person (if you'll pardon the terrible joke) and was very outdoorsy as a kid - growing up on a farm, rope was just another skill that you learned for everyday use. It didn’t turn sexual until my mid-twenties when I started dating a woman who was super kinky in bed and one night she asked me to tie her up. I tied her as I would, say, a wagonload of hay, and it turned out I was the only boyfriend she ever had that could tie her so she couldn’t get away. She loved it and would get super turned on. Then when I started going to fetish nights and meeting people in the kink community, I would trade tips with them about tying up our partners. It really built from there - that was back in the day when the internet was still in its infancy so if you wanted progress with your erotic bondage, you had to meet people in person, learn from them, experiment with them, etc. I think these days in our world of instant gratification and wanting to 'know all the things now' doesn’t leave as much room for the simple joy of experimenting with rope and their partner. We call it 'play' for a reason and I hope my new book encourages people to “play” and have fun with their partner(s)."
What do you think discourages most people from adding rope bondage to their sexual repertoire?
"I think there's a level of skill there that can seem quite intimidating. If you didn't pay attention at Scouts class as a kid, the idea of tying any sort of a knot can send you running for the hills. There's also a good amount of practice involved in getting good (although if you ask me, there's nothing arduous about getting someone half naked and running your hands on their body again and again) and I think that's more of an investment of time than a lot of people are ready to consider. However, if you see rope as something outside of sex as well as within it, it changes things entirely. Also, a lot of people who are thinking about giving bondage a try are with partners who have also never done it. This means that you're both sort of sailing blind. However, if you have someone more experienced who can tie you, you'll be hooked and then the decision's out of your hands; you'll simply have to start learning."
What kind of rope do you recommend that beginners use for their own rope bondage experiences?
"Honestly, you don't even have to start with rope if you're a total beginner. You can tie someone with silk scarves, ribbons, whatever feels less intimidating to you. However, when you do feel like making your first purchase, cotton rope is always a good first choice. While you can't really use cotton for suspension ties, it's very versatile and gorgeous on the skin. There's less friction with cotton rope compared to something like hemp, so it's easier to untie and retie (which is good for practice), and it's available in a whole ton of different colors, so your partner will look pretty as a picture. For a newbie, cotton rope is a pretty good place to start."
What do you think that most people misunderstand about bondage as a sexual act?
"I think people don't really understand that bondage is really about the connection between the rigger and the bunny - the person doing the tying and the person being tied. It's an incredibly sensual, emotional, real experience between two people, a real journey, rather than someone else just tying someone up and fucking them. That's a part of it, of course (a particularly fun part) but few people seem to realize that bondage can be sexual without involving penetrative sex - or any sex at all, for that matter. The very act of someone moving around your body in a considered, tender way; of them taking their time with you, understanding your physicality; the feeling of you putting your well-being entirely into their hands, and having them look after you. All of thisis sexual. All of it."
Do you have any porn movies/websites that you recommend for people who want to see rope bondage utilized well?
"Whenever I am asked this question, I always try to make a clear distinction between 'fantasy' and 'reality.' We have all seen super hot rope bondage on the internet and bondage in porn and bondage in real life are worlds apart. A lot of the more hardcore bondage stuff is done on specially made sets; you can see the 'give' in the floors that are supposed to be made of hardwood, and of course they edit out the numerous times that the action is stopped to ensure that the performers are healthy and comfortable, the times that knots are checked and redone, the time out of the ties that the performers get. The vast majority of hardcore bondage clips don't show you the process of binding, nor do they emphasize the connection between those doing the tying and those being tied, so you should never really use porn as a guide for how you should engage in bondage. This isn’t to say that the art of bondage can’t be appreciated and enjoyed and incorporated into your own life. There are a few rope bondage artists that I have supported because of their ethics and approach to the craft.
"This isn’t to say that the art of bondage can’t be appreciated and enjoyed and incorporated into your own life. There are a few rope bondage artists that I have supported because of their ethics and approach to the craft. Samantha Rone has not only been in my books, but she has taken the time to learn rope bondage very well and is taking that skill to her own studio sets. As well, Holly Randall shoots very gorgeous and lush erotic stuff and she has been enthusiastic about showcasing how beautiful rope bondage can be. That is the key reason I brought her onboard to help photograph my book. I'm lucky to work with some incredible models and with a great team behind the camera, so my books are as gorgeous as they are instructional. And let me tell you -we have a HELL of a good time making them!"
What do you enjoy most about your work as a sex educator specializing in BDSM?
"For me, the best thing is facilitating a better understanding of BDSM as a practice. In a world where you've got high-profile examples of celebrities trying to use BDSM as a defense in sexual abuse cases, or films that do a terrible job of showing BDSM in real life, it's nice to be able to show people what kink really is, and how beautiful bondage can be. Of course, we're filthy perverts - but BDSM is more than that, and it's really great to be able to communicate that to people. It's also really great to speak to the vast spectrum of people interested in kink. People tend to be more interesting than we give them credit for, and it's a smart, curious mind that brings people to bondage. It's great to get new perspectives and for me to learn things from the people I speak to."
What about the origins of rope bondage as a practice do you think would surprise most people?
"So there are two main types of bondage, eastern and western. Eastern rope bondage has its roots in a Japanese tying martial art called hojojutsu, and then through kabuki theatre then into its own realm as sexual rope bondage. This is how we get the style called kinbaku.
The western history of rope bondage, though, is a little more brutal. The first mention of erotic rope bondage was in a 13th Century epic poem called the Nibelungenlied, in which the Warrior Queen of Iceland, Brunhilde, is bound and raped by her husband (nice guy, clearly) and another, after which she loses all of her legendary strength. This is obviously problematic in a whole variety of ways, and it wasn't until publisher John Willie started Bizarre Magazine that rope bondage really found a place in western media.
Interestingly enough, the cultural exchange during and after World War II exposed a lot of people to Japanese culture and led to a cross-pollination of the two styles of bondage to give rise to what we call shibari today. So I guess that would surprise people!"
Tera Patrick wrote a beautiful foreword to your book. How was your experience binding her?
"What a great woman! She is a consummate professional on set and off. As one of the 'greats' from the industry, she came with a stellar reputation and was friendly, personable, and has a hilarious sense of humor. When I was tying her up, she was cracking jokes to try to throw my concentration off and we have become great friends since then. Plus, those boobs!"
Rope bondage gets used a ton in Hollywood as a way to demonstrate the sexiness of a woman. Are there any movies that you feel really show rope bondage done right?
"At times, movies get the essence of it 'right.' It isn’t necessarily about showcasing the skill of bondage in the movie, it is more of how they shoot the feeling of the scene, the emotions that are flowing back and forth, the sexiness of the moment, the twist of the rope, the way the actor struggles, then sighs and relaxes into the tie and how they really connect with their partner. We are seeing a new wave of rope bondage and 'art' that is defiantly more appealing to women over the past couple of years. Women know what they want, and making bondage colorful, glamorous, and sexy is a way to bring it out of the shadows of the internet and fantasies and make it much more palatable for them. Secretary did a lot to show people who BDSM could be, and the reasons people engage in it, though there were only a couple of instances of restraint. They were pretty damn hot though."
Is there anything you would like to say to your fans here at Fleshbot?
"First of all, hello you gorgeous perverts, and second of all, thanks for your endless support. I've been lucky enough to have some loyal-as-hell fans in the time that I've been doing this, and traveling around the world teaching has allowed me to meet a lot of them. It's incredible to know that our work is appreciated by so many people. So thank you - and stay filthy."
All of the images here appear courtesy of Kink's Hogtied website where you can check out a ton of fabulous rope bondage action.