Florida Is the Sunshine and Public Nudity State
In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.
It's kind of hard to believe that there is a place on this planet, other than a nudist colony, where so many people are just out and about completely naked. Leave it up to the great state of Florida to be that magical place. And since there were quite a few reports of nudity, I thought it best to simply do a rundown of the best ones.
Breaking And Entering... Naked (via cbs12.com):
Boca Raton Police responded to calls about a naked man running around an apartment complex just after midnight Sunday.
According to the police report, a couple woke up to a loud banging on their door. Police say the man then forced his way into their apartment and hit the male resident with a vase and a small table.
In a van down by the Bank of America... Naked (via SebastianDaily.com):
The Vero Beach Police Department received a call from a Bank of America employee who said someone was in a van naked in their parking lot. When the employee approached the van, the suspect jumped out and started yelling at them.
Crayton Coursey was identified as the man inside the van by officers. Coursey told officers that he works for Steller Transportation in Vero Beach and had permission to be in the van. Officers called the owner of the company who said Coursey was not an employee and had no permission to be in the vehicle.
While inspecting the vehicle, officers noticed the interior was vandalized with white powder from floor to ceiling. For some reason, Coursey discharged the fire extinguisher in the van.
Rain Dance... Naked (via Florida Today):
The unusual incident happened about 3 p.m. Wednesday as heavy rains and winds whipped through the area. Melbourne Police Lt. Steven Sadoff said the unidentified man was driving along the Eau Gallie Causeway when he stopped and got out of the vehicle.
“He pulled over and took off all of his clothes on top of the causeway. Then he started running around yelling, ‘I am God,’” Sadoff said
Melbourne police arrived within moments and attempted to grab the slippery, naked man in the rain.
“They did have to wrestle with him. We didn’t know if he would do something silly or jump off the causeway at that point,” Sadoff said.
The man was handcuffed and taken into custody.
Some people live their whole lives and never see anyone naked in public. Meanwhile, in Florida, it appears to be almost an every day event. Don't ever change, Florida. Don't ever change.