You Can't Give Yourself a Nickname
In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.
When it comes to having a nickname, there are a few simple rules. First, you cannot give yourself a nickname. Even if it's the perfect nickname, you just can't do it. Second, it has to have some relevance to a part of you, something in your personality or your appearance, but you can't call yourself "Giant Thunder" when you are not over 6 ft. tall and very soft spoken. And lastly, a great nickname is one that everyone will remember. In the case of one Florida man, his nickname probably wasn't the best idea. His nickname: Mr. Pervert.
While the nickname Mr. Pervert seems to fit Sean Michael Vest to a T, it didn't help when it police came knocking at his door on charges of Cyberstalking. It would seem Mr. Pervert was harassing a fair amount of women online.
“There were 15 separate victims, that came forward, although we believe that 15 victims is a lot, we also believe there are more out there, and we are going to encourage them to contact the sheriff’s office,” says Chief Deputy Chip Simmons.
Not only was Mr. Pervert being super pervy by taking the victims photos off social media and no doubt "adjusting" them to send unwanted text, but Mr. Pervert was also posting these pictures on a few adult websites.
“He would begin harassing text messages and phone calls to several women by pulling their photos off of social media and continue to harass them both day and night,” says Amber Bernard, primary investigator in the Vest case.
Now, in case you are wondering how police learned that Mr. Vest had the nickname of Mr. Pervert, he apparently had been going around town referring to himself as that. Come on, you can't just call yourself Mr. Pervert, you have to earn it. I think maybe Mr. A-hole or Mr. Jerk or Mr. Dickface Johnson - oh wait, that one is already taken.
Cyberstalking is not only a terrible thing to do to someone, but it's also pretty sad. Almost as sad as giving yourself a nickname. When Mr. Vest goes to jail, I wonder if he'll still go with Mr. Pervert?