January 9, 2017 | Posted in Celebrity by
While I'm sure they have some use on the planet, I often find rocks to be rather annoying. I can't tell you the number of times I've tripped over a rock or one has shot out of the lawn mower while I was cutting grass. But thanks to Ali Larter, I finally understand the purpose of rocks. They are put on this planet so beautiful women, like Ali Larter, can sit on them in a bikini. Man, rocks rock!
Yeah, yeah, don't give me that “we all live on rocks,” Mr. Drunk Tectonic Scientist Man! Rocks are all about being strategically placed on beach fronts for Ali Larter and her bikini to rest while taking the perfect Instagram post. All that other information is just junk that is taking up room in our brains where we could be storing Ali Larter bikini pics. And you know what makes this pic even sexier? No, not the sun, though the light it gives helps us to see Ali Larter's amazing bikini body. No, not the water, though it makes her body glisten. No, not the sand, though those tiny grains of dirt do make her look pretty damn hot. Okay, stop guessing, let me just tell you. It's the rock. The rock is probably uncomfortable, but Ali Larter is still sitting on it makes the picture just a little bit sexier. So does all that other stuff.
The next time a tiny rock hits my windshield I'm not going to curse and scream, no - I'm going to shout, "Thank you, rock, for making Ali Larter just a little sexier!" Maybe you should thank a rock or two.