I'm Not Circling the Lot Again!
In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.
This time of year, heading to the mall is an absolute nightmare. Forget the long lines, the crowds in the stores, the struggle to find what you are looking for - the real nightmare starts in the parking lot. The endless circling to find a spot, the frustration that comes with someone dropping off bags and heading back to do more shopping, and of course, the anger that comes with someone taking their time when leaving. It's enough to make you want to pound the steering wheel, scream out the window, and in the case of one Florida man, flash your penis at someone.
Pentagon City (what a name for a city in Florida) Police were called to the Pentagon City Mall over an incident involving two men and a parking spot. Now one would assume this probably meant two dudes fighting over "who got there first", but this time the argument went in a different direction.
“Following a verbal dispute between two parties over parking, a male subject allegedly exposed his genitals to a male victim,” according to an Arlington County Police Department crime report.
“Officers conducted a canvas of the area and located the suspect,” the crime report continues. “Bret Wayne Reichenberg, 34, of Palm Beach FL, was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and being drunk in public.”
I think we've had some bad moments with holiday stress, but I don't know if any of us have ever thought about whipping it out to win a fight. You know, there is a way prevent the holiday parking stress: Shop early and shop online.