Only in Florida: I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

September 30, 2016
JACK-BLACKBUSH

Private Drones Will Lead to Trouble, I Say

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

No doubt we all have a little concern over the private use of drones, like the constant reports of drones flying close to airplanes that are landing and the fear that someone might be watching you doing something you don’t want others to see. One Florida man decided to take action when he noticed a drone flying over his girlfriend while she was sunbathing topless.

The Florida man was enjoying the day with his topless sunbathing 26-year-old girlfriend when he went inside to get another beer. Upon his return he noticed a drone hovering above his girlfriend and that’s when he sprung into action. With anger filling inside him, the man hurled his beer can and landed a direct hit on the drone causing it to fall from the sky. Unfortunately, the drone fell right on his girlfriend’s face, causing several lacerations on her face and upper body and kind of . . . cut her nose off. The Man and his girlfriend rushed off to the hospital where they were able to re-attach her nose.

The story doesn’t end there, folks. Apparently the owner of the drone, Tampa resident by the name of William Jacob Cerda, has been caught a couple times before flying his drone over sunbathing residents. Currently under investigation, Cerda (through his lawyer) claims he was merely flying his drone around the neighborhood and just happened to fly over this house at the particular moment someone was sunbathing topless.

Granted, it’s hard to believe Mr. Cerda after the discovery of his since deleted YouTube channel, which featured many drone videos of ladies sunbathing, swimming in pools, tanning, etc.

Personally, I think private drones are a terrible idea. Forget all the spying, potential for causing a plane crash, and all that jazz - I don’t want my nose to get cut off. But hey, whoever said chivalry was dead didn’t check Florida.