An Adult-Only Theme Park? In Brazil? Go On...

Is the Water Slide a Penis? The Tunnel of Love a Vagina?

As we get older, the idea of going to theme park seems about as fun as going to the dentist. They are overcrowded, overpriced, and most of them are pretty overrated as to the amount of fun someone will have. To be fair to theme parks, adults really aren’t the key demographic. That is why some entrepreneurs in Brazil are looking to create the first adult-only theme park.

Located in the city of Piracicaba (about 2 hours from São Paulo) ErotikaLand may soon open what I will assume are butt-cheek-shaped gates in 2018. When you think about it, Brazil is the perfect place for ErotikaLand. With their Carnival celebrations that feature hundreds scantily clad dancer, the many short-stay love motels, and of course the Miss BumBum competition, Brazil seems ripe for an adult-only theme park. ErotikaLand will include things like a history of sexuality museum, sexual-themed rides, and a sexual labyrinth, but there is one no-no in this park . . . no sex. Yes, this sex theme park for adults only is to be sex-free. Which, for some, might be kind of a bummer. But Mauro Morata, one of business men in charge of this project, hopes the no-sex-in-the-park policy won’t sway people away.

“This won’t be a place for nuns, but it’s not like we’re trying to recreate Sodom and Gomorrah,” Mr. Morata said. “If attendees want to take things to another level, they can go to a nearby motel—which we will operate.”

So, hopefully you haven’t made vacation plays for 2018. We’ll have to keep an eye on the progress of ErotikaLand and see if the penis-shaped bumper cars will be ready. All I want to know is if the Ferris Wheel is going to look like a boob.