Talk About Offsides
There’s nothing more fun than playing a little football on the beach, but just because it’s a friendly game doesn’t mean you should throw the rules out of the window. So, someone needs to throw a flag for Encroachment on Maria Menounos’s bikini bottoms, because they are jumping offsides and we can see her vagina.
Also, if I was on the other team, I’d probably want a 15-yard personal foul penalty on Maria Menounos for distracting everyone. Trying to focus on the game when Maria Menounos is in a bikini alone is a challenge—she’s got one hell of a bikini body, her cleavage in this black two-piece is rather stellar, but when you toss in a vag flash . . . well, that’s just downright unfair. And yes, I know that Maria Menounos is probably not doing it on purpose—she’s not a member of the of New England Patriots (BOOM! Patriots slam! Get over it, Pats fans—you guys cheat all the time and you know it.) Still, if I was on the other team, this would be an issue that would need to be addressed . . . after a couple of series of plays. Maybe by halftime or something.
Since none of us will ever to get to play football on the beach with Maria Menounos, this is a problem that none of us will ever have to deal with. It would be one great problem to have, though.