February 16, 2016 | Posted in straight by
No, sorry, not this time, Alison Brie. Nope, I’m on to you, and I’m not going to get sucked in my your incredible beauty. I don’t care if you are wearing a very, very short red dress or even standing next to the super sexy Emmy Rossum, your beauty is not going to win me over this time.
Alison Brie, you are hands down one of the most beautiful women working in show business these days. No doubt you are the star of many of our dreams, but I’m not falling for it this time. I’m not going to talk about how I don’t even like bare shoulders or collar bones or neck of a woman, but when I see yours I have the urge to find a giant canvas and paint your beauty so future generations will know of it. Nor do I think that if you were captured by some brutal dictator or an evil alien race that I would be one of the first people in line to come to your rescue. And I am for damn sure not going to say that seeing a picture of you and Emmy Rossum together will fill my mind with such dreams that I will never want to wake up from a night’s slumber.
Oh no, Alison Brie, your beauty will not capture me this time. I know your tricks now, Alison Brie. You think you can just show up somewhere, being incredibly sexy and I would be fooled. Not this time, Alison Brie, not this time.