January 28, 2016 | Posted in straight by
OK, Emily Ratajkowski, just stop it. Seriously, stop it. You are way too hot, and you make every single thing you touch sexy. I mean, you are wearing the nerdy glasses I wore as kid, which I was picked on for, and yet when you put them on, they are the sexiest pair of glasses ever. Ever.
I’m not mad at Emily Ratajkowski—there is nothing she can really do about how sexy she is. Her body was made for bikinis and sexy lingerie and not wearing anything at all. That’s just how it is, but damn it, she makes everything ugly sexy. I swear on a pile of holy books that if you put a nude Emily Ratajkowski in a pile of trash, trash would be sexy. Now, I’m not encouraging Emily Ratajkowski be nude in a heap of garbage because that’s probably really unsanitary, but I’m making the point that she can’t help how hot she is. Nor do I or anyone else want her to do anything that would make her not sexy . . . as if anything could make Emily Ratajkowski not sexy.
Yes, Emily Ratajkowski’s ass is sexy in a thong bikini. Yes, Emily Ratajkowski’s cleavage is amazing. None of that is shocking, but her ability to take nerdy glasses and make them sexy—that is some higher power sexiness. Seriously, Emily Ratajkowski, seriously.