January 1, 2016 | Posted in Celebrity by
2015 is just hours away from going down the crapper. How was yours? Did you lose weight like you said you were this year? No? Ha! What a waste of 365 days, but don't worry. Starting Friday, it's a clean slate to fail all over again! That's what makes these "resolutions" so fucking lame. If you want to make change, do it right now, not some arbitrary day that everyone else does.
Holy shit, that reminds me. My gym in Chicago is gonna be fucking jam-packed with people trying to lose weight and getting in everyone's way trying to do too much before giving up after two weeks. Don't wait 'til January 1st. Do it NOW! C'mon people.
Elena Satine is always in shape. What do you think her resolution is? She's got a perfect bod so she's good in that department. I guess she's hoping for a plum movie role, starring role on a hit TV show or maybe a bigger family. Lame. We're hoping she shows more than the nipple she exposed outta her bikini while frolicking with her rock douche hubby on the beach recently. Elena is a nude vet but unsimulated sex could be something to shoot for! 2016 can't get here sooner!