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Porn Suggestions for the 2016 Presidential Hopefuls

CELEBRITY

Earlier this week, retired pornstar Jenna Jameson threw her support behind Florida Senator Marco Rubio's campaign, which is his first key celebrity endorsement. Now that Marco is likely getting into Jenna's porn, here are some porn suggestions for some of the other high profile candidates on both sides of the aisle. We think the candidates will love these and will hopefully help them to land pornstar endorsements of their own. It's also important to point out that this is not meant to be taken seriously. At all. Well, maybe a little. 

 

Jeb Bush: Schoolgirl Porn

The Billy Carter of the Bush family claims to be the education candidate, so I think some schoolgirl porn would be right up his alley. He doesn't actually give a shit about education and neither do the guys in schoolgirl porn. They just wanna fuck instead of studying. (Video via Burning Angel)

[jwplayer id="7261302"]

 

Ben Carson: Transsexual Nurse

Ben Carson is a neurosurgeon. Did you know that? He'll be happy to tell you all about it any chance he gets. He's also notoriously homophobic, and we all know that people are homophobic are overcompensating, so this brings together two of his favorite things: Chicks with dicks and the healthcare system. (Video via White Ghetto)

[jwplayer id="7261395"]

 

Carly Fiorina: Fucking Machines

Arguably the sexiest candidate in the GOP field, if only by default, Carly Fiorina's business background means that she knows a thing or two about outsourcing. Therefore, what would get her off more than seeing a machine doing all the work in porn? It's like an outsourcer's dream: low overhead, maximum pleasure. (Video via Fucking Machines)

[jwplayer id="7261392"]

 

Donald Trump: Latina Porn

Much like his new buddy Ben Carson, Trump's hatred for anyone that's not American is likely an attempt to cover up his twisted and perverted feelings for—gasp—Latinas. It's cool, Don, we all love Latinas. It's part of what makes America great, though your awesome hat seems to disagree. (Video via Nacho Vidal Hardcore)

[jwplayer id="7261416"]

 

Ted Cruz: Foot Worship

This guy's just a fucking creep. (Video via Foot Worship)

[jwplayer id="7261431"]

 

Hillary Clinton: Fem-Dom

Strong females dominating males and making them bend to their every whim... While I definitely think that Hill would be way into Cuckold Porn, I think it's more likely that she gets off watching men being humiliated by a woman. (Video via Divine Bitches)

[jwplayer id="7261433"]

 

Bernie Sanders: MILF Porn

First of all, I love Bernie Sanders. He's my boy. He's also way into MILF porn. It calms him down like you wouldn't believe. Seriously, the next time you see him getting worked up, just suggest he watch some MILF porn. Soothes the savage beast in Bernie every time. (Video via Lexington Steele)

[jwplayer id="7261434"]

 

Lincoln Chafee: Hairy Teen Pussy

I don't know why, but I just feel like anyone googling Lincoln Chafee should, at the very least, be happy to get directed toward some hairy teen pussy videos. I think he'll just be happy he's a tag on Fleshbot now. Seriously though, this could've been Martin O'Malley as well. These two need all the publicity they can get. (Video via Bushy Bushy)

[jwplayer id="7261435"]


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