Did you hear the sales for the stupid ass Apple Watch have fallen 90% since it launched? Steve Jobs is rolling over in is iGrave©. Who the hell wants to hold up their wrists all the time to check their tiny screen for calls and texts? It's not like Apple was the first company to come up with the dumb ass phone watch concept anyway. Sigh. Hey, remember the iPod? Did you know Apple still makes those? I couldn't leave the house without that thing from 2006 - '12, listening to The Killers and Coldplay and shit. Then I got a smartphone and well...fuck you iPod. And don't you even get me started with the stress oasis that is iTunes. That thing sucked, took up memory space and constantly updated even when Jobs was still alive and firing minions during elevator rides in Cupertino.
I-Lived is a new mystery flick about an app some loser downloads that makes his dreams come true until he signs out and deadly stuff happens. It's like Candy Crush but instead of dreams coming true you just get distracted and walk into a light pole. Two big selling points this VOD film has is Sarah Power's great breasts. If these jugs look like familiar, you've seen them before on an episode of Californication. Nice to know these slamming mams haven't changed.