Five REAL BDSM Tips by Wicked Performer/Director jessica drake

Wicked contract performer/director and lover of the lower case jessica drake's latest instructional release "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex--BDSM for Beginners" is out now on DVD and VOD and I really can not recommend it enough.  I have a scar from a BDSM play session gone wrong and I can tell you from that experience that it pays to know what you are doing when it comes to this kind of sexual encounter.  Here are some excellent tips from Drake that will help keep things hot and safe in your sex life.

Five REAL BDSM Tips

With all the hype from the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, plus the upcoming movie, BDSM seems to be everywhere. This has led to great openness and conversations, as well as plenty of curiousity, but it's also led to people dabbling in a lifestyle they know nothing about, except for what they see on the big screen. It's important to make the distinction between mainstream actors acting out a story versus experienced people in the lifestyle who have spent years honing their technique. You may not be considering building a dungeon in your house, but if you want to try to blur the line between pleasure and pain, here are a few tips:

1. Do your research. Read S&M 101 by Jay Wiseman. Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. Watch some instructionals... I recommend my Guide to Wicked Sex: BDSM for Beginners. Before you play, get some factual information.

2. Yes, you really do need a safe word. Most performers in my movie chose red for stop, yellow for slow down & check in, and green for go ahead. You can choose any word you would normally NOT use in bed, but that word will do you no good unless both people involved understand its purpose.

3. Always negotiate what you want to do/have done to you. Is spanking with an open hand ok, but hitting with a whip off limits? You need to decide that first. Nipple clamps a no-no? Anal play a *maybe*? Even though you may initially think this takes the spontaneity out of your play, so does crossing an invisible unknown line that sends your partner running for the door and ends the chance of a repeat performance.

4. No matter what it is, start slow. You can always build up. Before you hog-tie your partner, try some wrist restraints. Before you're spanking so hard you're leaving long-lasting marks, start with lighter pressure and let it build. In the scene between Steven St Croix and Maddy O'Reilly, there are many great examples of this technique, and he uses a flogger on some of the most sensitive parts of her body.

5. After your play, when you and your partner have come back down from the endorphin high, revisit your experience and give each other feedback. What did you love? What were you not so into? Use this information for your next session, and as you become more comfortable with the trust dynamic between the Dom and sub, each experience will be better and more intense. Communication and trust equals some amazing S&M play.

xo
jd

All of the images here appear courtesy of Wicked Pictures.  Be sure to follow drake on Twitter and go watch "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex--BDSM for Beginners" now!  Here's the trailer.