Oklahoma Man Fingered In Porn Theft

KSWO, Lawton, OK- Wichita Falls, TX: News, Weather, Sports. ABC, 24/7, Telemundo -

The most frequently uttered phrase on my commute each morning has got to be, "How do you people even manage to make it out of the house in the morning?" That question springs to mind when I read this story about Anthony Mercier, a 44-year old man from Lawton, Oklahoma who was busted stealing $1200 worth of porn DVDs when they fell out of his coat as he was exiting the store. 

This hilariously heartwarming story comes to us courtesy of the Ottumwa Courier (link below), who embedded that newscast above from KSWO, which features by far the best hairpiece I've ever seen on a news anchor. Apparently, the employees at the Family Video in Lawton recognized Mercier from his previous thefts, and called police as soon as they saw him enter the store.

Now, in case you were wondering, yes, Family Video does have a "back room" as it were, where they rent porn DVDs. I know, right? But that's not even the best part of the story...

An officer grabbed Mercier's arm as he tried to leave the store and several of the DVDs fell out of his coat. The total value of the videos came to $1,159.58. Mercier apologized for stealing the videos, but no explanation was given to why he needed so much pornography.

"No explanation was given to why he needed so much pornography." No explanation should be necessary. I feel you Anthony. Sometimes, you just got to have it all, you know? It's the American way. 

Via Ottumwa Courier