January 7, 2014 | Posted in Editorial Features by
The government may be spying on you, banks are always failing, and don't even get us started on the instability of bitcoin. In these trying times, who can you place your faith in? Thankfully, the anal sluts will always be here for you.
Why mess around with FDIC limits when you can just make a deposit in one of these lovely ladies? Unlike most banks, they don't have daily limits--and as gorgeous European starlets, we're pretty sure they count as offshore accounts (just think of the tax savings, guys).
Really, the only thing to worry about here is whether Alma Deluxe, Angelina Love, Helena Sweet, Liz, Lora Row, or Sweet Claudia is your favorite. But really, that's not much of a worry now, is it?