In Praise Of “Amazing Tits”

Here's an anecdote. A couple were lying in bed one morning, having just woken up and feeling that familiar sleepy reluctance to get out of bed and start the day.

"What are you staring at?" asked the lady. "Your titties," said the gentleman.

"Do you have to just stare at them like that all the time?" she asked. "And why do you have to call them titties? Titties just sounds so...vulgar."

"Maybe you're right," said the gentleman. "But you have to admit: You do have some amazing tits."

Can we just put ourselves out there and say that "titties" is an awkward, if not entirely ugly, word? It's not childish, per se. It just sounds kind of weird to refer to grown women as having them. Grown women have breasts. Bosoms. Yes, even incredible tits.

We thought of this when we had a look at "Amazing Tits," the latest from the folks at Doghouse. Director K.K. managed to find four women from the European hinterland who have some of the nicest, roundest, most beautiful tits around. The kind of ladies that make you want to scale the Swiss Alps and shout to the heavens, "I love tits! Not titties! T-i-t-s tits!"

Connie Carter, Katerina, Jessie Jazz, and Satin Bloom are all in excellent form here. But remember: It's not how well they work a dick or take a load. It's those tits, man. Say it right.

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