Netflix Picks: Badass Babes In The Buff

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People always ask us, "Fleshbot, what qualities should I look for in a wife?" And we usually respond, "Are you wife hunting? Dude, just let things take their time and fall in love when it happens. Jeez." But secretly, we want to say, "Find a badass girl with freaky tastes so you may sip and sup on her brain like the delicacy it truly is."

1. B. Monkey: Alan (Jared Harris) is a schoolteacher in London who dreams of leaving his dreary life behind; his only real quirk is that he moonlights as a jazz DJ for a hospital PA system. One night, he goes into a bar and finds Beatrice (Asia Argento) arguing with two gents, and he's instantly captivated by her. As he pursues this stunning creature, he slowly discovers that Beatrice is the legendary B. Monkey, a notorious thief with the ability to break into anything! Alan tries to get Beatrice to turn over a new leaf and leave her life of crime, but who's to say she won't turn him into a happy young rogue? Personally, if Asia Argento asked us to commit crimes with her, we'd do it. (Harmless ones, that is. Like, uh, not leaving the bed for days on end!) Look for Asia--and we know you will--at 21:30, 28:00, 32:15, 1:04:00, and 1:10:00.

2. After Fall, Winter: Director Eric Schaeffer stars as a downtrodden writer named Michael who's just had his book rejected by every publisher in New York City. He's also in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt! Somehow, he moves to Paris and immediately meets Sophie (Lizzie Brochere), a hospice nurse who cares for the old and dying as well as the terminally-ill and young. She rejects his advances at first, but a romantic relationship develops, and soon their secrets come out: he has a masochistic streak and likes being dominated when he's feeling bad about himself, and coincidentally, she moonlights as a dominatrix! (We should've made moonlighting today's theme.) How perfect for them! How perfect for us, too! We get to see the lovely Lizzie naked at 1:03:30, 1:06:00, 1:13:00, and 1:43:45.

[At top: Lizzie Brochere in "After Fall, Winter" (movies.netflix.com)]