This Is The BDSM Porn They Watch In The Vatican

TorrentFreak recently posted a list of pirated files being downloaded in the Vatican, and guess what? Somebody in the Vatican City is downloading a bunch of BDSM smut! We bet you’re wondering what kind of porn they like in the Holy See, so we took it upon ourselves to figure out the meanings behind those file names. We don’t think we’ve ever felt closer to the Catholic Church than we do right now.

It’s easy to tell what they’re watching when we see things like “Chicago.Fire” and “Love Actually,” but what does “WA-27788 Lea Lexis and Krissy Lynn” mean? WA stands for Whipped Ass:

That’s Krissy Lynn being strung up and fucked silly by Lea Lexis for Kink.com’s Whipped Ass. Krissy plays an art critic and Lea plays a scorned artist who takes revenge on the snobby rich smack-talkers of the world by making an example of Krissy. Coincidentally, this scene was inspired by that famous part of the Gospel, “The meek shall inherit the Earth and pound the anuses of the wealthy with dildos on spears.”

So what is “TPH-26967 Tiffany Starr and Sheena Shaw” all about? That’s another branch of the Kink empire: TS Pussy Hunters. Sheena wakes up and doesn’t remember why Tiffany is in her bed, but a firm pounding from Tiffany’s cock helps jog her memory!

RussianSlavesBesides this Kink.com stuff, TorrentFreak mentions something called “RS77_Episode 01″ which turned out to be “Russian Slaves 77.” We couldn’t find any clips for you (and unlike certain people in a certain ecclesiastical state, we didn’t want to download the torrent), but we do have a set of screencaps that makes “Russian Slaves” look absolutely wholesome! Last but not least, there’s a beautifully named file “BDSM Sklavin Züchtigung im dunklen Hobbykeller teen fesselspiele” which means “Slave punishment in the dark basement workshop shackle play teen.”

So what do you think? Are these files going to bishops and cardinals (or the former pope), or is the Swiss Guard simply bored and horny? More importantly, will Kink give Vatican residents a discount on memberships after all the press they’ve given them?

· Story via TorrentFreak (torrentfreak.com)

[All clips courtesy of Kink.com: Whipped Ass and TS Pussy Hunters]

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  • WalterPater

    Well, the residents of the Vatican seem to have good taste in porn at least :) To be honest, though, the only thing that surprises me is that they watch straight as well as gay porn…

    • http://fleshbot.com/ Lux Alptraum

      Wait. What are you classifying as straight and what are you classifying as gay? Obviously Russian Slaves is straight, but if you mean gay as in two men, I don’t see any of that here. If you mean gay as in same sex, obviously Whipped Ass counts and I guess TS Pussy Hunters, since it’s two ladies (even if one of them has a penis).

    • WalterPater

      I would not consider any of the scenes mentioned “gay,” I just assumed there was gay porn, meaning male on male, on the list not mentioned in the article because this is “straight” Fleshbot. Of course, we could talk about all the bizarrity of how the word “gay” is used in reference to porn made in the Valley, trans and bi-phobia in the porn industry, etc. Trust me, as a queer man, I find a lot of attitudes about these subjects in the “Straight” pornworld to be pretty weird, but that wasn’t the intent of my original post…

    • http://fleshbot.com/ Lux Alptraum

      Ah! My bad. I misread the intent of your original comment. Eh, if there was gay porn we would mention it; there probably is, it just didn’t make it into the screencaps released by TorrentFreak, so we don’t know the details of what, exactly, it was.

    • WalterPater

      No worries, I know there are lots of knuckledraggers out there who want to label anything involving tgirls as “gay” for the most transphobic of reasons. I am glad I made clear that wasn’t my intent.

    • WTF

      Did you miss the transvestite?

    • Jencendiary

      Transexual porn isn’t ‘gay’ porn by definition, because it’s not meant for a gay audience. Self-identified straight guys make up the majority of that audience.

    • WTF

      UMMMM YOU DID NOTICE THE TRANSVESTITE RIGHT?

  • http://www.facebook.com/greg.dallis Gregory Dallis

    :)

  • DeeSnider

    So, which is it? Vatican City or *The* Vatican? They’re not the same thing and regular people live in Vatican City.

    • Jasbins

      i asked that to myself too