Sex Or Statecraft? No True "Borgia" Can Choose

If it were you or us in that situation, the path would be clear: ignore work, have sex with Maria Diaz Garlon (Daisy Lewis), and repeat until dinner. But we're not Borgias, we don't know what power is, what it tastes like, how uniquely arousing it can be. Cesare here has a bad case of blue balls, and he won't feel release until he's conquered something big and strategic.

On another note, we're going to start referring to attractive bodies as "vital strategic positions" that we must acquire lest we be overrun by our enemies (celibacy and boredom). Cesare would approve! We're trying to be more like him in life, except minus the murder and exile and religious-political intrigue. Basically, we think we should grow a beard like his.

· "Borgia" (

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