No joke, the whole premise of this film is that BiBi Jones wakes up in a strange house after a party and has no way to leave because everyone is too busy curing their respective hangovers with rambunctious sex to give her a ride. It’s essentially “Hotel California” with a little anal fingering added in for good measure.
We feel bad for BiBi, but we can’t fault the others for trying to cure their wretched headaches and miserable mealy-mouths with some hardcore fucking. Kingsley Amis once said that morning sex is the best way to combat the metaphysical and emotional effects of a hangover, and it warms our hearts to see a whole house of people following Amis’s advice.
Imagine BiBi’s confusion when she wakes up, perhaps coming off a mild blackout, and immediately stumbles upon Asa Akira and Bill Bailey slamming their loins together. BiBi may be bleary, but Asa and Billy sure aren’t, and Asa celebrates her consciousness and stomach stability by jamming Bill’s dick all the way down her throat. They expel their last bit of alcohol toxins by fucking roughly in doggy style until Asa’s back arches and Bill bites her neck.
Having discovered the invigorating effects of watching two gorgeous people screw, BiBi eschews the hunt for coffee and continues her search for a ride home. James Deen offers to give her one, but only if she’ll give him some sweet morning lovin’. She consents, and thus James gets to experience the unique pleasure of mounting BiBi’s globe-like ass upon his dick. It’s hard work standing up with one leg in the air while James thrusts upward and hits the deepest parts in your pussy, but BiBi is nothing if not stalwart, and she knows that she can indulge in a blissful, body-melting orgasm because she’ll soon be riding home with James. Unfortunately, James leaves the house without her. What a punk.
As she wanders around the house, looking for others to help her, BiBi starts to think that she shouldn’t try to leave. Where else could be as comfortable and carnal as this place? She grooves Chastity Lynn and Cindy Starfall eating each other out on a massage table, and just when she thinks she wants to interject her vagina, Manuel beats her to the punch and adds his own genitals to the scene. Cindy and Chastity are a match made in heaven: they’re both young, nasty, and down for a little extra depravity any way they can get it. Asses get fingered, nails grip the sheets, jaws drop as moans and yelps of joy push their way out, and BiBi can’t bring herself to interrupt. We appreciate her good manners.
Who needs “A Ride Home,” anyway? Maybe BiBi accidentally stumbled upon a cult and they won’t let her leave, but at least they’re being cool about it.