Netflix Picks: Pornstars On The Silver Screen

December 5, 2012
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

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We wake up in the morning, start looking at porn, and we don't stop until it's after dark. So naturally, when we go home and get cozy, we need a way to detox and clear our minds. That's when we turn to mainstream movies that have pornstars in them! What, you thought we were going off them cold turkey? It'd kill us.

1. Piranha: Technically, we should call this "Piranha 3D" so differentiate it from the 1978 film, but it's not 3D when it's on Netflix so that's that. "Piranha" is about a swarm of super-aggressive prehistoric piranha that get released on a small town after an earthquake disturbs their underground lair. They show up just as spring break is getting started and thousands of horny college kids are flocking to the town, so you can see where this is going. This movie is packed to the gills with pornstars, some with big parts (like Riley Steele and Gianna Michaels) and others who drift by and flash their boobs at the camera in a parody of the "Girls Gone Wild" series. We're pretty sure we saw Briana Blair topless in some promo photos taken by Eli Roth--oh, how we miss that Briana Blair! Look for gratuitous nudity at 25:18, 30:13, 45:25, and 57:49; that may not seem like much, but we assure you that they're lengthy nude scenes.

2. The Final Girl: Now, let's take a trip to the other side of the Atlantic and see how European pornstars make their mark outside of the hardcore realm. "The Final Girl" has been described as the lesbian version of Roman Polanski's "The Tenant," but if that doesn't mean anything to you, forget we even mentioned Polanski. The story revolves around three young Parisian women and their reactions to the mysterious absence of the fourth. Wendy Delorme plays a stripper looking for a room to rent, and Judy Minx (whom we absolutely fucking love and obsess over) plays her soon-to-be roommate who will accept sexual favors in lieu of a security deposit. It sounds sleazy and naughty (and it is), but there's a real dark fog that glides through the film, especially when the missing fourth girl is seen in dreamy flashbacks. All in all, it's a great way to see some top-notch French pornstars exercise their crafts while you peep their bods at 3:20, 7:30, 31:32, and 57:39.