A Field Guide To Siri

December 5, 2012
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

The list of AVN Awards nominees came out recently, and although their Best New Starlet list looks pretty similar to XBIZ's, there was one new name that stuck out. She might not be what you first think of when you think of porn starlets, but she's sassy, sexy, and has HH-cup boobs that can knock you out cold. She's Siri, and no, her name has nothing to do with the iPhone.

Siri was born on June 20, 1988 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Her early life is a mystery to us, but the origin of her porn career is clear. She was attending college and working part-time in Texas, and just as she reached the tail-end of a three-year lesbian relationship, she met her future husband, Brad, on OkCupid. A combination of factors led to them exploring the possibility of a porn career: Siri was a big fan of queer smut and the openness it expresses, she and Brad are both non-monogamous, and as Siri told Gram Ponante in an interview:

"I told him right off that I wanted a career in the porn industry," Siri says.

"And I said, ‘How can we make that happen?'" Brad says.

They met face to face for the first time in February 2011, spent four days locked in a hotel room hiding from an apocalyptic snow storm and eating at the nearby Olive Garden, took sexy pictures of Siri, went to a bunch of summer swingers' parties, made plans to attend the Adult Entertainment Expo, and got married in the fall. Siri and Brad are more or less the cutest fucking couple in existence. [Ed. note: apologies to my friends who are currently in relationships.]

After meeting a bunch of porn industry figures in Las Vegas, Siri and Brad moved to Los Angeles, Siri signed with L.A. Direct Models, and she filmed her first scene February of 2012 with Voodoo for Reality Kings. As far as first-time jitters go, she wasn't nervous about performing sexually--especially given how many swingers' clubs and parties she had attended--but she was apprehensive about dealing with the camera and how to best display herself for the audience. She adds that Voodoo has the longest cock she's ever had, you know, just for the record.

Although she's taller and curvier than a lot of pornstars (and certainly more so than the other gals nominated for Best New Starlet), Siri is not a BBW. At least, she and her hubby aren't interested in using that label; they prefer to think of her as "The Christina Hendricks of Porn." Given that Hendricks doesn't like to be called full-figured, perhaps we should start calling her "The Siri of AMC."

People often wonder how being married jives with Siri's career--she's been asked about it so much that it's part of her FAQ page--and to answer them, Siri usually points to the genesis of her relationship with Brad and the earnest approach they take to non-monogamy. The most beautiful illustration of that arose in Siri's interview with Gram:

Brad: With a lifestyle event, I'm present. That is the significant thing. With porn, I have to leave her and give her over to other partners. Do I get sad occasionally that it's not me? Yes. Jealousy is a fact of life. But jealousy is healthy.
Gram: That sounds almost wistful.
Brad: We don't believe that human beings are naturally monogamous. We're trained and shamed into monogamy against our natural desires. I don't want to repress that desire in her.
Siri: But when one of my scenes comes out, it's like Christmas.
Brad: We watch them together.
Siri: And the sex is amazing.

By now, you should be pretty smitten with this lady and the following information should make you ecstatic: she's in this industry for the long-haul. We're not casting disdain towards those women who view their stays in Porn Valley as temporary, we're just excited as hell that this one specific babe wants to spend as much time making smut as she can. This means we'll have to patiently wait for her to climb the ladder of hardcore acts--engaging in interracial, cum play, anal, double penetration, and Lord knows what else--but it doesn't mean that the only Siri footage out there is of monotonous vaginal penetration and titfucking. If you want to see her creative and kinky side (or if you want to see her and her friends fuck Brad, the lucky so-and-so), you should take a look at the videos on display at her Clips4Sale page. You can see Siri when she first wakes up in the morning, Siri making faces at the camera, Siri playing with her friend and a strap-on, Siri training you to be a slut, Siri using magical powers to shrink you down and eat you, and even Siri holding her eyes open until they water uncontrollably.

This girl is so much more than a pair of enormous eight-pound boobs; she's a legend in the making.

Be sure to check out:
· The Official Blog of Siri: XXX Pornstar (siripornstar.tumblr.com)
· Her Twitter (twitter.com)
· Her Clips4Sale page (clips4sale.com)
· Her Amazon Wishlist (amazon.com)
· And please, please read the interview she did with our beloved Gram Ponante (gramponante.com)