These “Mad Asses” Make Us Want To Placate Them

There are several disembodied and gaping asses on the cover of "Mad Asses" and a full 131 of them on the (wait for it) back side. So we kinda already got that this was the "All Anal Edition."

Still, director Mike Adriano is one of those guys who has transcended any vague air of creepiness that might have temporarily concerned his POV subjects, such as Jada Stevens, who shows up wearing a ridiculous set of what appear to be terrycloth shorts, highlighting a taut but spongiform ass that compels you to it like a black hole draws light and matter.

"I wore it just for you," she says, and I imagine that it was a moment later that she realized she meant it, because Adriano just really likes asses.

In the same way we are comforted by fat chefs who obviously love their work, we're happy that Adriano gets right up in there and people like Jada Stevens, Kimmy Olsen, AJ Applegate, Rose Monroe, and Melina Mason don't hide behind the conjoined part of them that gives Adriano such joy.

"Mad Asses," then, is a callipygian smorgasbord, a 2-disc, several-hour set of short scenes guaranteed to be the type of movie prisoners would risk a year in the hole for possessing.

As Jada Stevens lifts up her buttocks for the camera, we watch as they snap right back into place with a satisfying jiggle. Jesus Christ.

Adriano then has Stevens don a pair of mesh hose and walk like a John Cleese character on a treadmill. He has her turn her head and drool on her right buttock so we watch the spit roll languidly down those bunched curves.

"I've done this once before," Stevens jokes. (She has done this no fewer than 10,000 times since the very moment she turned 18.)

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