This Is How You Make Lesbians: “Bree’s Slumber Party” (2008)

It starts innocently enough: Four scantily-clad women in their mid-to-late 20's are kneeling on a bed talking about blowjob technique. Then they get into a pillow fight—also perfectly normal—and then they become lesbians. How did this happen?

Bree Olson, Kayden Kross, Aiden Starr, and lone brunette Penny Flame (Flame is also wearing the most prudish outfit) are talking about fellatio and using marital aids as teaching tools. This happens in small gatherings of women around America, as you know. Women discusssing the best way to please their men. Does this make them lesbians? No.

These lingerie-bedecked beauties then blow off steam by ruining their feather pillows on each other's faces, breasts, and buttocks. This is also a popularly accepted means of women relaxing together, even if it will require another expensive, teaberry candle-smelling trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Is it this that makes them lesbians? No.

It is never just one thing that does it.

Like mixing Jagermeister, crack, and the 2004 yearbook of a certain Brandeis sorority, it is the combination of lingerie, blowjob talk, and pillowfights that made these women jump the fence into each other's waiting vaginas.

So if you happen to be male and pass by your wife and her friends talking about blowjobs, just remove the pillows. If they're in their lingerie, announce that each woman is fantastic at blowjobs and nothing more needs to be said on that subject. If they are having a pillowfight, make sure they are wearing slacks and sweatshirts.

That is, unless you want them to become lesbians, and that's fine, too.

(I included the credits for Adam & Eve's "Group Sex 9"—on which this scene was recompiled—because they liked Kayden Kross so much that they listed her twice.)

· Adam & Eve (adamandeve.com)
· Buy "Group Sex 9" (tlavideo.com)