“Natural Beauties” Behaving Unnaturally

O, Fleshbot Readers, if you you were to but scrape off the makeup and hooker garb from this boobulous Czech trio and have them fuck in a bar washroom or rainy light rail platform, then we'd have a movie.

"Natural Beauties" has a gauzy air of 1996 to it and features names characteristic of that era, like "Krystal Swift" and "Carmen Croft." But it is a new release that just feels old, with women hitting all the marks of the Porn Lesbian Playbook.

Krystal Swift admires herself in a mirror, and she damn well should. She's looking curvy in some cheap lingerie, the type women on different life paths might get for their wedding night and never wear again. Carmen Croft and a woman named Erin (Europornstresses often have single names but many missed the memo that those single names should be electrifying, like "Gonadier") coo in the background, but then Carmen starts massaging Swift's heavy breasts through the chintzy fabric.

So far, so good. We accept the premise that maybe these women are bridesmaids, and we certainly can't blame Croft for fondling the goods. But Swift doesn't really react.

"But Grams," you say, "maybe they do this all the time."

Sure, but why would they get all dressed up if Swift is awash in apathy?

But then Croft and Erin go to town on Swift, using her as their grinding surface. At one point Croft mashes a breast into Swift's vagina, which is sweet.

But all along the trio makes the affected noises of the Standard Porn Lesbian Soundtrack, the vocal-fried groans, sucking air through their teeth (like something's too hot!), and yelping "Yeah?!"

I am definitely the target audience for these women, but not this scene, you know what I mean? I have a feeling that whatever IRL threesomes this gang gets up to are far sexier.

· Adam & Eve (adamandeve.com)
· Buy "Natural Beauties" (tlavideo.com)