We swear, this time we’re done talking about the violence in the title of this franchise. Now we just want to talk about the way women gaze at Mandingo’s dick. Look at Skin Diamond right here, staring that shit down, not doing the corny thing when she drapes it across her face and looks surprised that it reaches from chin to scalp. Skin holds that dick like she’s about to eat her first burrito in years.
God, this movie makes us want burritos. It’d make more sense if this movie made us want to have sex with Skin Diamond and Anikka Albrite and the others, but according to the box cover, “Their Asses, Pussies and Mouths Will Never Be the Same After Mandingo Was There!” So, you know, there’s that.
We don’t actually believe that Mandingo’s dong will permanently alter the body parts of his partners, but we do believe that we can’t compete with his good, good loving. Skin Diamond knows what she has coming in her scene, and she drags her tongue up his shaft slowly, lovingly spreading spit over every last veiny inch. This way, when he shoves his stuff all up in her ass, Skin feels that his hardness is truly for her–she made him want to fuck her tight tushie, and she’s even going to make it tighter by shoving a few fingers in her cooch as well. Skin Diamond: self-made woman.
How awesome is it that we saw Cindy Starfall yesterday in “I Love Big Toys 35″ and today she’s tackling Mandingo’s member? It’s mega awesome. Cindy spent one day in big dick boot camp before her superiors decided she was ready for the real thing, and now here she is, face to glans with the Man, taking his dick deep inside her pussy, putting her training to good use. On the one hand, Mandingo’s meat may be easier because it’s slightly thinner and shorter than the zeppelin-sized wangs she was working with before; on the other hand, the plastic penises weren’t fucking her back, and as we all know, Mandingo’s real talent comes from his hips. How does she handle such pumping?
Gosh, how can anyone handle pumps from his mighty pelvis? It’s a mystery to us mortals, but thankfully we have a seemingly endless supply of lithe and sexy demigods who are willing to take part in “Mandingo Massacre 5.”