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Netflix Picks: The Aliens Are Coming!

TV/MOVIES

[jwplayer id="7182383"]

We're going to estimate that fifty to sixty percent of the reason that humans want to explore the cosmos is so we can have sex with sentient (and consenting) lifeforms from other worlds. Not buying it? You're going to act like it's a coincidence that N.A.S.A. used to be N.A.Sty.A? Whatever. The true believers out there will appreciate today's double feature: two films that focus on aliens who are totes trying to get in your pants.

1. The Man Who Fell to Earth: Here we go, first movie, the classic Walter Tevis novel that was adapted into a sexy film with David Bowie in 1986. "The Man Who Fell to Earth" is about Thomas Jerome Newton (Bowie), a humanoid alien who comes to Earth to collect water for his dying homeworld, but gets wrapped up in the pleasures of the flesh. He uses his advanced alien technology to patent a bunch of inventions, grows rich, builds a spaceship, gets mixed up with shady characters like Rip Torn (is that not one of the greatest names in Hollywood?), and ends up addicted to alcohol, television, and sex. Critics have said that even though Nicholas Roeg directed, it feels nothing like his other films, and is better described as Bowie's vision of himself: an alien trapped in the body of a man. Fortunately for us, it's a rather nice body, and he uses it to bed Candy Clark a few times. Candy is only one of the five foxy females who show skin in the film, and you can see them at 18:30, 29:30, 29:50, 43:30, 56:19, 1:27:00, and 1:57:00. You can also see Bowie's penis, Rip Torn's penis, and some unsimulated sex with Rip and Adrienne Larussa!

2. Species: Now, David Bowie came to Earth to get water and head back home, and sex sort of derailed him. Natasha Henstridge, on the other hand, is on Earth specifically to bang dudes, procreate, and release her deadly children upon the land. We feel that these two films make nice counter-points for each other. Anyway, we're getting ahead of ourselves. "Species" is about a team of S.E.T.I. scientists who receive transmissions about how to make a human-alien hybrid, so they do that, and their creation matures from a young girl to a full adult in barely any time. This lady-alien-beast (Henstridge) escapes the lab and starts looking for guys to hump: she finds a gent in a club, but he's diabetic, so she kills him. She tries to sex up a guy in his pool, but he's not down, so she flees. You get where this is going. Anyway, even though she's a total horn-dog who's obsessed with unleashing her spawn on the Earth, Natasha Henstridge is gorgeous, and so fun to watch, and you can see her bod (as well as Marg Helgenberger's) at 18:00, 36:00, 42:00, 54:00, 59:00, 1:21:00, and 1:22:00.

[At top: Bowie and Clark getting freaky in "The Man Who Fell to Earth" (movies.netflix.com)]


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