Even if you flunked out of high school algebra, you probably know enough math to put together a decent threesome. Here, we’ll start off the equation for you: take three people, subtract their clothing, divide the number of dicks by the number of available orifices, and go from there. Don’t forget that you have to show your work; we want to see you work it!
Plus, if you don’t show the work, no one’s going to believe it really happened. Oh, you might have the bite marks and torn panties to support your case, but if you don’t have a camera standing by to record every last second of your crowded bed adventure, nobody is going to high five you later. (A life without high fives. Scary thought.)
We always consider it a treat to see Jasmine Black–we don’t know what it is about her, but she’s one of our favorite Europorn babes! Here, she’s teamed up with Jessica Moore in an effort to better overload the nervous system of the lucky man who gets to bang them. We’d tell you who he is (so you can high five him later) but we can’t tell! He spends the whole time with his ass on the couch, buried beneath the voluptuous bodies of his ladypals, letting Jessica and Jasmine trade off riding his thick, veiny cock. Can he breathe under there? We see him come up for air once, only to be met by Jasmine’s heavy boob dangling in front of his mouth–oxygen be damned, he has to suck that nipple. That man has his priorities straight. That man might be Cristian Devil or Igor, but those are only guesses.
We definitely know when David Perry is on the screen, not just because of his telltale tattoos, but also because the camera captured his face in many different expressions of pained delight. Seriously, look at those pictures! When he’s fitting his fat cock inside Blanche’s tight ass, he’s in pain; when she’s switched the order of the spitroasting so she can swirl her tongue around the tip of his dick, his lips are locked in a moan; when he’s riding in the back of a limousine drinking champagne as Eliska Cross and Angel Long each suck a side of his shlong, he looks like he’s just eaten the world’s most delicious slice of key lime pie and his brows are furrowed in existential longing and quickly fading sugar high. We feel bad for him and yet we should not feel bad for him.
At least Eliska and Angel are having a good time in the limo. When Angel impales her anus upon David’s dong, she spreads her own ass apart, has David spread her ass apart, and has Eliska do some spreading while she licks Angel’s nipple. When it’s Eliska’s turn to have her backdoor knocked, she doesn’t need any assistance with the ass, so Angel busies herself by lapping at the base of David’s balls. Let’s forget about his face for a while, shall we? Because without his grimace, it looks like everyone is having a good time.
And really, that’s the hardest part of planning threesomes (or “3 Somes” as the hip youths are calling them now): making sure that everyone has fun. No matter how you do the math, you may run into some difficulties with giving pleasure to multiple partners at once; it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and if you’re not ready to try it yourself, leave the “3 Somes” to the professionals