You can never know when a strap attack will come, no matter how hard you try. Oh sure, you’ll buy a fancy security system, lock your doors, and pay a bodyguard to pick up the soap when you drop it in the shower, but as soon as you feel safe enough to wear leather chaps, Kristina Rose will be knocking at your backdoor with a bouquet of roses and a fistful of lube.
And then it happens. And it isn’t that bad! Oh sure, Kristina likes to pull hair and slap faces with her great, veiny wang, but she throws dick like a pro and she always makes her victims come. Oh, but let’s not call them that; let’s call them “assets.”
Her current asset is Patrick J. Knight, a handsome young man who likes body art, windsurfing, and sucking brown plastic cock. Kristina shows up with her tits greased, her dick out, and a sinister smile on her face, but she doesn’t stick it in him right away. She has Patrick kneel down before her, lick her shaft, and take a couple cock slaps to the nose. Does he get dick then? Nope, she has to ride on his shoulders, whip him, and jam a few fingers in his ass first. How about then? Yes, finally she gives it to him, but she doesn’t let Patrick come then and there. Instead, she sits in his lap, grips his dick with one hand and runs a Hitachi Magic Wand against his taint until he oozes jizz through her fingers. We had no idea Kristina was so talented with a strap-on!
Emily Eve’s approach to strap attacking involves a regimen of disrespectful erotic acts combined with stony, almost joyless look on her face. The only time we see her smile is when she’s sticking a big pink vibrator in Vin Deacon’s anus, and that might be more of a ball-licking face than an actual grin. Besides that, she’s frowning as she traps Vin’s face between her ass and the wall, she’s frowning when she generously lets his cock in her pussy, and she’s looking extra pissed when she’s got her giant plastic phallus strap-deep in his butt. And what’s with all the crumbs on the small of Vin’s back? Was Emily eating cookies and using him as a fuckable table? Emily, you’re not allowed to eat cookies, bang ass, and still be frowning.
Who has time to frown when there are still so many asses to strap attack? Sure, there have been sixteen wonderful films about this act, but there are still millions of men who have yet to be bent over and butt-loved by a sexy lady with a dick attacked to her waist. And yet for some reason, Gabriel D’Alessandro gets fucked by Megan Foxx in one scene and then spitroasted between Molly Bennett and Ivana Sugar in another. You’re being greedy, Gabriel.
“Strap Attack 16″ might belong to Gabriel and his insatiable booty, but “Strap Attack 17″ shall belong to the people, and the pornstars will take their dicks to the street!