I have worked in sexuality in some way for many years and it feels like home to me because of my fluidity when it comes to adapting to and enjoying different sexual situations. My experiences have taught me a lot about myself, about my desires and limitations and I have come to understand how I can represent the full range of my sexuality.
This was not always the case, but I always had these thoughts twirling in my head as I navigated the world of professional sexuality. Whether I’m focusing more on fetish modelling or exposing my real sex life with my boyfriend Max, they are all different parts of myself and I have had to figure out how it all fits together in a way that works for me. That’s already challenging, before trying to engage with the balancing act of professional ambitions and personal life. Having the fluidity in my nature to take enjoyment all my different contexts and experiences is what has helped me find this balance.
Since I am tall and slender, I got into modelling as a hobby first because I saw the opportunity naturally, but it quickly became something I enjoyed so much that I started to pursue it as a career. My more angular looks and tattoos lent themselves well to the fetish side, so I ended up sliding more into it, but I wonder how much my natural inclinations played a role in that.
Because I’m leggy, shoes and high heels were a niche that I fell into easily. Along with this comes foot worship and foot play… I wanted to explore this side of myself because I find great pleasure from my feet, and I remember fond moments from my past when my mother would give me foot rubs or tell me that I hand beautiful hands and feet. I also found myself drawn to textures, especially tight clothing. Seeing my ass and my legs in spandex or stockings is beautiful, but even just wearing a leotard or some long socks can give me a little thrill.
I have always had a very open mind when it comes to sexuality, so I can say that I’ve been intrigued by fetish for a long time. I love to try new things in life in general, so it’s been normal for me to explore in bed too. I can’t say that i’m a pure fetishist, because I have always enjoyed more traditional sex so much, but it’s fun to play. Working in fetish really allowed me to explore that side, to the point where it ended up being almost every aspect of my working life, since I had an entire site devoted to my soft fetishistic explorations.
Doing this as the only focus of my sexual work didn’t feel right, especially when it’s done in a way that is so much like a performance. I like to show more variety in who I really am. In my personal life with my boyfriend, we liked to play a bit with fetishes like these and even a bit of spanking, tying up and general rough fun… But most of all, we are focused on each other, on our bodies and on our mutual pleasure just from the two of us connected.
Since we have been working on Pornographic Love, we’ve found a way to include a little fetish in with our sex, through the way I’m dressed in our videos, the loving caresses that he gives my legs and feet and the playful exchanges we have. Now that this is our main focus, I feel even more free to play with the fluidity of our sexualities and add a little more fetish in, but on my own terms.
· See more of Lilyanne at Pornographic Love (pornographiclove.com)
[This post is a part of Fleshbot's Camille Crimson Week.]