Our brains are so not capable of handling this right now. It’s 2012, we’re waiting to see what’s up with the myriad doomsday theories going on, we can barely focus on what porn films are coming out next week, and Kate Upton is giving us sneak previews of what the 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue holds in store. How are we supposed to think straight when her nipples are visible through that inner tube? Also, that is not a swimsuit, Kate Upton. That’s an inner tube.
If you want to see her nipples better–and we know you do–you’ll have to adjust the brightness on your screen. Something about divining nudity by messing with the brightness feels like cheating, but you know, you have to be shameless about this stuff. We find that it helps if you say what you’re doing out loud as you fiddle with the image: say “Focus on sector Delta 3-7″ and “Enhance!” a bunch and suddenly you’re a technician.