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Netflix Picks: Carnal Classics

TV/MOVIES

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Some of you will remember seeing these erotically charged movies when they were in theaters. Some of you (like a certain associate editor) will remember being quite young when these films came out, and being unable to get a straight answer from your parents about why you couldn't rent them from Blockbuster. "Why can't I see it? It's in the new releases section!" "Because I said so." Sigh.

Whether you're rewatching some of your favorite steamy cinematics or discovering why your parents were hiding Demi Moore's boobs from you, these are films are definitely worth a close look (and maybe a pause and rewind for those special parts).

1. Striptease: This movie earned, among other anti-accolades, the Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Picture of 1996, but don't let that discourage you! Bad movies can still be quite hot, and if you have a problem with Demi Moore playing a former FBI secretary who becomes a stripper to afford to fight a custody battle and ends up solving murders, well, then you're just not American.

2. 9 1/2 Weeks: Yes, it's Adrian Lyne's famous movie about Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke having crazy sex with each other for two months. Not only is there a great deal of plain ol' nudity, but there's also a lot of steamy skinless sections that run on nothing but chemistry. Yes, "9 1/2 Weeks" was nominated for a bunch of Golden Raspberry Awards, and tons of people walked out during screenings, but it's still worth watching. Plus, Nica Noelle adapted the story for a porno!

3. White Palace: Young men of the world, if you've ever thought about seducing Susan Sarandon and making sweet, sweet love to her MILFy body, then this is the movie for you. James Spader plays a young, successful, but brokenhearted businessman who develops feelings for a middle-aged waitress (Sarandon), and even though their worlds seem far apart, they somehow come together. And yeah, they come together. Also, look at this cover; it alone is enough to get us clicking the play button.

4. Fatal Attraction: Another Adrian Lyne movie? Yes. And this one was also turned into a porno by Nica Noelle? You betcha! This time, we get to see Glenn Close turn from smoldering temptress to psychotic mistress as she tries to take Michael Douglas away from his family. How does she do it? Well, first she tries letting Michael suck her nipples, then she tries sex, and eventually she grabs a knife. Fact: Glenn Close was quoted in 2008 as saying, "Men still come up to me and say, 'You scared the shit out of me.' Sometimes they say, 'You saved my marriage.'"

5. X: This isn't exactly a classic yet, but we feel that this erotic thriller is on the same level of many of these films from the '80s and '90s; that is, "X" is equal parts celebrity nudity, melodrama, and crazy scenarios piled on top of each other. Hanna Mangan Lawrence (who played Seppia on "Spartacus: Vengance") plays a young woman attempting to sell her body for the first time, and Viva Bianca (also of "Spartacus" fame) plays a jaded escort who only has one last night of work before she calls it quits. Maybe you feel like you've already seen these women enough on "Spartacus," and we understand where you're coming from, but we urge you to swallow that feeling and watch this crazy trip through the seedy and scary world of sex-for-sale. (Also, how can you possibly get enough Viva Bianca?)

[At top: Hanna Mangan Lawrence in a scene from "X" (netflix.com)]


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