Get Multiplayer Muff From “Geek Girls: The Gamers”

We saw this one coming, so we have no right to be giddy about its arrival, but we are anyway. Someday, video games and pornography shall be one, enormous, California industry, and these babes are helping make that a reality, one pussy at a time.

You know what the hardest part of writing about this movie is? Not succumbing to the issue cliches of video game innuendos. Not only is the joystick joke completely played out, but nobody uses full-hand joysticks anymore. If you want to talk about thumbing someone's D-pad, then we can talk, but don't even think about pulling some retro Ms. PacMan jokes these days. Waka waka, nah'mean?

Then again, Misti Dawn keeps it quite old school with her platforming preferences, so it's appropriate to discuss the way Jordan Ash ports his "Metal Gear Solid" into her tight Nintendo as she sits on his lap. It doesn't work at first, so Jordan gives her cartridge a quick lick or two (because no one should ever blow on one). Once she's good and ready, Misti takes his Light Gun deep inside and discovers that it's anything but light. Eventually, they drop the video games, so we will too; Jordan pounds Misti in missionary and doggy style, titfucks her, and they have a good time.

Elsewhere, Lea Lexis is trying to get Erik Everhard to play some soccer. She's all dressed up in her sneakers and thigh-high socks, ready to go, but Erik just wants to play "EA Sports FIFA '12" (not a euphemism) on his XBox. They compromise: Lea has Erik play with her X-rated box. The controller disappears, the panties come off, and Erik uses all the dexterity his game-weary hands can muster to grab Lea's plump ass and hold it down on his mighty dick.

Meanwhile, Xander Corvus is punishing Gia Steel for cheating. This has nothing to do with their relationship (Xander loves adultery) and everything to do with the "rosebud;!;!;!" code that Gia used to get thousands of dollars in "The Sims." She bought the biggest house with the most expensive equipment and built a huge pool mere minutes after starting the game. As punishment, Xander got rid of everything in their house—their actual house—and fucked her roughly on the bare wood floor. Gia loves it when Xander grabs her by the nape and pounds her ass, so she considered this a win-win. She gets to come on an easily-cleanable surface and an excuse to furnish the place just like her virtual home!

So if you're the kind of person who enjoys sitting in front of screens, doing intricate movements with your hands, then you'll love "Geek Girls: The Gamers." It's twice as engrossing as "Oregon Trail" and has none of the dysentery!

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Misti Dawn and Jordan Ash
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Misti Dawn and Jordan Ash
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Misti Dawn and Jordan Ash
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Misti Dawn and Jordan Ash
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Misti Dawn and Jordan Ash
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Misti Dawn and Jordan Ash
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Gia Steel and Xander Corvus
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Gia Steel and Xander Corvus
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Gia Steel and Xander Corvus
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Gia Steel and Xander Corvus
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Gia Steel and Xander Corvus
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Kimber Peters and Danny Mountain
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Kimber Peters and Danny Mountain
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Kimber Peters and Danny Mountain
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Kimber Peters and Danny Mountain
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Kimber Peters and Danny Mountain
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Lea Lexis and Erik Everhard
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Lea Lexis and Erik Everhard
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Lea Lexis and Erik Everhard
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Lea Lexis and Erik Everhard
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Lea Lexis and Erik Everhard
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