A Declaration Of Nipple Independence: Our Favorite Celebrity Nipslips

Too long has the titty had its topography hidden under the absolute tyranny of clothing! We are a people fully supportive of unsupported breasts, and we want you to see how badly these nipples want to escape and be seen by the whole world.

We have to advocate for the nipple in this fashion because we'll burn if we walk around topless and political manifestos with words rarely get much attention. However, if we were going to write one, it'd probably look something like this: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all nipples are created equal, that the well-endowed and the petite both have certain unalienable rights, that among these are bralessness and pursuit the lenses of the paparazzi."

But that's just corny. People will get the point once they see how many celebrities have nipples that are allied with this cause. Spoiler alert: hella nipples are allied with this cause.

Emma Watson
Emma Watson was just minding her business, rolling around with her homies, when all of a sudden the cameras started popping. Her nipple decided this was the perfect time to secede, and it made its declaration right then and there in front of everyone. Emma Watson's panties noticed that the dress was experiencing a moment of shock and weakness, and so it decided to join the nipple and say What Up to the cameras. It can happen in an instant, people. Sometimes even two instants.

[Via Celeb Skin Blog (celebskinblog.blogspot.com)]
Milla Jovovich
This nipslip is extra phenomenal for a couple of reasons. First of all, it looks like the dress was designed to accidentally expose and frame the nipple. Second, this happened at Mikhail Gorbachev's 80th birthday party. Can you think of a better gift for the former—and only—President of the Soviet Union?

[Via Taxi Driver Movie (taxidrivermovie.com)]
Courteney Cox
Sometimes it seems like nipple freedom is such a valid and natural concept that even forces of nature are for it. Such was the case for this photo. Courteney Cox probably knew that the paparazzi was watching when she went for a swim, but she figured they'd only get some bikini pictures and that would be that. Little did Courteney know that she'd be making a political statement when the ocean assaulted her body with a bikini-loosening slap, giving her nipple the chance to speak its cold and stiffened mind.

[Via Taxi Driver Movie (taxidrivermovie.com)]
Dita Von Teese and Nicole "Coco" Austin
Who can forget April 11, 2011, the day that both Dita Von Teese and Nicole Austin decided to wear see-through clothing? What are the odds that two women with so little in common (except their shared habit of showing their breasts) would show their breasts on the same day, in the same fashion? We suspect they synchronized their movements with Twitter or something of the sort, but they refuse to comment on the date in question for fear that anti-nipple activists would try to stop them.

[Pictures via Coco's Plixi (plixi.com) andThe Nip Slip (thenipslip.com)]
Goldie Hawn
Goldie Hawn is sixty-five years old and she can slip nips with the best of the post-adolescents. Some other gals might sense the drooping of the dress and spend the day making paranoid tugs at the fabric, but not Goldie. She's proving that nipple rights awareness is not only for the younger set; it speaks to women of all generations. (And men! Men enjoy this too, we assume.)

[Taxi Driver Movie (taxidrivermovie.com)]
Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace
We're doing this nipple thing in conjunction with American Independence, but that doesn't mean we're pulling some nationalist shtick here. The United Nipple Front welcomes men and women from all walks of life, even British glamour models who appeared on "Big Brother." If anyone should protest, saying that we should keep this nipple round-up as American as possible, we challenge you to find someone who looks anywhere near this enthusiastic about accidentally flashing her tits in public.

[Via Taxi Driver Movie (taxidrivermovie.com)]
Tara Reid
This picture presents a strong argument for an all-American nipple movement. It's Tara Reid, America's sweetheart, not looking at the camera, fixing her luxurious hair, showing a touch of areola, sitting in front of a chocolate cake that is shooting fireworks up her nostrils.

[Via The Nip Slip (thenipslip.com)]
Khloe Kardashian
When we first posted about the time that Khloe Kardashian slipped a nip on "Fox and Friends," we were already tired of the story. Then we had a chance to rethink this slip in context of all the other instances of accidental celebrity exposure, and we started warming up to Khloe. Now that we're gunning for nipslip awareness, we realize that we judged Khloe too harshly. Not only is she accepting of her nipslip—and the attention it earned her—she's enthusiastic about it, and we could use more (pseudo-)celebrities like that.

[Via Khloe Kardashian's Twitter (twitter.com)]
Carrie Prejean
A lot comes to mind when we think of Carrie Prejean. When think of when she was Miss California USA 2009, when she made some unfortunate comments about same-sex marriage, when she was defended by Donald Trump, and when she was fired for having pictures of her naked back floating around. But the first thing that comes to mind—the real fleur de sel of the Carrie Prejean memory bank—is this nipslip/indignant face photo. Oh, and we also think of when Alexis Texas played her in "You're Nailin' Palin."

[Via Egotastic (egotastic.com)]
Karissa Shannon
Obviously, it's not too surprising or exhilarating when a Playboy Playmate has a nipslip (or in this case, a majorityofherbreastslip), but this picture is still important to us. You can see the patriarchal hand of nipple coverage swooping in on Karissa's dress in order to cast the boob back into darkness. Perhaps that's what motivates Karissa to make such a sassy face on the red carpet. Oh, Karissa: keep your face sassy and your nipple slipping.

[Via Egotastic (egotastic.com)]