Finally: “Boobwatch”

How long have you waited for a "Baywatch" porn parody called "Boobwatch"? Only if you answered "All My Goddamn Life" would I believe you.

Perhaps director Jonathan Morgan understood that a visceral need for this parody was not present, so he crafted a tale of women in lifeguard outfits showing up to emergencies far away from beaches-running in slow motion-to comment on the very unnecessity of this film.

Alektra Blue plays the Boobwatch leader who stands at a lifeguard station and observes-without binoculars-choking hazards, barbecue infractions, and tub mishaps hundreds of miles away. She then sends herself or Lisa Ann or Jayden James or Carolyn Reese to solve the problem by fucking it away.

As throwaway a movie this is, it is still odd to see Alektra Blue in this role. She's such a regal brunette and has trouble looking credibly ditzy. But it is a fun movie if you enjoy the machine-crafted and titan-breasted porn surfaces that are Blue and Lisa Ann (as well as the newly-fortified Rebeca Linares), in addition to the softer, pillowier James and Reese.

Am I wrong to have wanted or expected a single scene on the beach or a Pamela Anderson-esque blonde? Or Evan Stone pulling a 'Hoff? Expectations are a cage, baby.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)

Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "Boobwatch" (tlavideo.com)