Best Bumper Sticker Ever? “I Only Drop For Big Cocks”

What are these girls dropping? Their jaws? Their panties? We won't be satisfied until we see Nicole Ray drop the A-bomb on the island of Misfit Small-Cocked Pornstars. Or maybe we'll settle with watching her fuck Jack Lawrence. Maybe.

We have to say, we were 100% on board with the show until we read the back of the box that says, "Check out the real-life casting calls where we went to Craig's List [sic] to find guys with big cocks. What these unsuspecting big cucumber guys don't know is that the casting directors are really our cock-hungry porn stars!" Really, Bluebird? You're going to pretend Jack Lawrence is just some guy? Then again, we really do like the idea of big cocked pornstars responding to Craigslist ads for their services. Anyway, we're getting off track.

Krissy Lynn has been around the block a few times. We're not calling her slutty or anything, but she's seen her fair share of wangs in this universe. So be warned, unless you have something big enough to stretch out her cheeks and fill her pussy, you probably shouldn't whip it out in her presence. (Er, you should never just whip out your cock in a pornstar's presence. Only do it if she asks you to.)

Evie Delatosso isn't necessarily disparaging of small penises—she enjoys cocks of all sizes—but she really likes getting sloppy and messy when she fucks, and it just so happens that she does this most easily with the help of a big dick. One minute she'll be licking balls, all calm and collected, and then the next minute, her tired muscles struggle to catch her boy toy's come on her big, sweaty tits. It's hard work dealing with large shlongs, but she loves it.

Some girls, like Victoria Lawson and Jasmine Jolie, like to do the forearm test when they see dicks for the first time. If the penis in question is more than two thirds the length and comparable girth, they deem it suitable for intercourse. We think this is a smart system! We also think you'd enjoy watching them split in half by the forearm-sized cocks they select.

"I Only Drop for Big Cocks" already came out a few days ago, so feel free to find out what Nicole Ray and company are dropping. Please report back to us.

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