With brand new iPhones landing in the hands of happy customers all around the country today, we find our thoughts turning to one of the most pressing questions of the day: how will these new devices affect our sex lives?
True, at first glance there’s no reason to think that the new iPhone will do much that the old iPhone hasn’t (especially since Apple won’t be allowing in adult apps any time soon). But then again, there is that swank new videochat program, FaceTime—and if we’ve learned anything from webcams and camera phones, any gadget that allows you to discreetly transmit photos and video is a gadget that can be used for sex.
As a videochat application, FaceTime effectively turns your iPhone into a webcam (as do other videochat phone applications, of course, like what’s available on the Evo). And we all know webcams are pretty sexy. But how does having a webcam/phone really work when you’re getting down to brass tacks?
Let’s take a look at some of the pros and cons of turning your FaceTime into sexy time:
PRO: Extreme portability With a device that fits comfortably in your hand, you can take your sexy business anywhere. Well, anywhere that allows you a bit of privacy and a wifi connection, anyway.
PRO: You can work your best angle There was a part of me that died a little the day built in webcams became standard features on computers. Sure, it’s convenient and all—but it lacks the easy maneuverability of a standalone webcam. A cellphone, on the other hand, can go anywhere, and take pictures of anything—and yes, we mean that in the dirtiest possible way.
PRO: Front and back facing cameras This is the part that’s got me the most excited. Imagine: you start your session looking your partner in the face, cooing sweet nothings…and then, as the action starts to heat up, you switch to the back camera, conveniently pointed at your lap, to show your partner just how hot and bothered you’re getting. Then, when you want to get sweet again, you switch back to the face. And so on, and so forth, all throughout the evening…
CON: Teeny tiny screen Yes, the portability of the iPhone is nice and all, but does it compare to seeing your partner in all their glory on your big ass monitor?
CON: The camera’s angles aren’t very wide Yes, the iPhone can get all up close and personal…but that’s about all it can do. You won’t be taking any wide angle or full body shots here—more than likely, it’ll be a mix of genitals and face (and maybe some boob action, if you want to get creative).
CON: The camera is interconnected to the screen Yes, you can take your phone anywhere, and take pictures of anything…but while you’re showing your partner your back end, it’ll be a whole lot harder to watch their expression. And the further your phone gets from your face, the harder it is to see your partner. Sure, you can each take turns showing and watching…but that’s not quite as fun, is it?
CON: It’s not a hands free device And we all know how important having both hands free can be in a situation like this.
CON: Sometimes really close is too close. What happens if you happen to, say, get some errant body fluid on your shiny new iPhone? Yeah, have fun explaining that to the Genius Bar.
Granted, where there’s technology and a sex drive, people tend to find a way…and we’re pretty sure that the ingenious pervs out there will find a way to overcome those cons (and think up a few pros we didn’t imagine). Until then…it’s a brave, exciting, new world, isn’t it?