And as we end another week, a new pair of star-cross’d lovers (a Fleshbot reader and a porno) shall make their civil hands unclean.
We’d like to take a moment and thank Madison Young for presenting “The Curse of MacBeth” to the world. She has a lot of guts for fucking with Shakespeare (literally penis-and-vagina-ing Shakespeare), and it’s something we’d like to see more of. As always, that’s where you, the highly literate and ever-creative Fleshbot readers, come in.
For this week’s contest, we’d like to hear you flirt. Spit your game in Shakespearean English for some fly 17th Century honeys. If you were approached by a couple of foxy wenches, what would you say to free them of their frocks? Imitate Shakespeare however you’d like; rhyme, meter, word choice, and confusing innuendos are just a few of the tools at your disposal.
Post your entries in the comments section. Perhaps your skillful persuasions will prompt parody porn directors to set their sights on some classic theater. Or maybe some you’ll make an impression on some horny drama major. It’s hard to say. What we can say is the winner will receive a copy of “The Curse of MacBeth” and mad Thespian street cred.
Speaking of street cred, it’s time for us to give some out! Last week’s odes to Lisa Ann produced some glorious work. If she read this site (does she read this site?), she would be most flattered. But this moment is not about Lisa Ann; it’s about you.
As always, all of the entries were brilliant. Beaker delivered another volley of clever haiku. mattyte made a strong endorsement for MILF-assisted death:
Queen of the Cougars
Being mauled by Lisa Ann
Perfect way to go
On the longer side of things, Dethzilla treated us to a near-epic poem about reincarnation. We’re guessing you’d need about a billion karma points to come back as anything close to Lisa Ann, but we nonetheless love the line the silent motorboat.
But we have to give it up to offred, whose adoration for Lisa Ann is only matched by his powers of iambic pentameter.
Ode to Lisa Ann (A Sonnet – my first attempt at one, be gentle)
Oh Lisa Ann, thy subjects will be true
Toward thy bosom, hanging like ripe fruit.
Its ample offers craft a heady brew,
That clouds the minds of even the astute.
By teaming with the fair Julia Ann,
Thou plays in waters leading thou to shiver.
To watch thy exploits will lead ev’ry man,
To tremble, with their manhoods all a-quiver.
When I was young and green in days of yore,
I quested vainly to attract a sylph.
Alas, I now know that which I adore;
The beauteous curves found only on a MILF.
My want for thou is not for Sarah Palin,
But to go rogue in a fit of heedless nailin’.
Anyone who rhymes “sylph” with “MILF” is a baller in our book. Congratulations, offred! You just earned yourself a fresh, soggy copy of Wet! We’ll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.
· Madison Young picture via Jizz Bomb (nsgalleries.com)
